A
female
age
41-50,
*oxCandy_Sparklesxox
writes:Dear Agony Aunt, I met a guy off a very well known dating site and we hit it off straight away, we became very close in three weeks to the point where we even told each other we loved each other, I know silly really when we hadn't even met before but it felt so right. Well last Saturday was our first date together and it went amazingly well, we were just the same as we were on the phone, very affectionate towards each other, lots of laughter and romantic genstures. After we parted that evening he soon texted me and thanked me for a amazing day and told me he loved me. When I got up the next day I thought how odd it was that he hadn't texted me, so I tetxed him to ask him how he was etc, and he replied not fantastic, well by now I was panicing thinking he was having second thoughts about us, so I asked him. It turned out that his ex had found out we met the previous day and has bascially given him a ultimatum between myself and his 3 year old son who he has regular contact with, his ex has a new partner to which I'm aware they'll be getting married in August, so anyway I bascially texted him back and told him she can't run his life for him and he replied back saying he knew that but he needed time to think, that was 2 days ago and still I haven't heard anything. I last texted him yesterday basically saying I missed him and he was in my thoughts but no reply. How long do I give him? Or do you think he's made his decision and I'm now out of the picture? Please help
View related questions:
his ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (29 June 2010):
 This is a fine example of what happens in the world of online dating. People get carried away and think they love someone they barely know - the phone calls, the emails etc mean nothing until you properly date someone for a long time. Feeling lonely gets in the way of common sense in the world of internet dating - you hope it will work out and therefore make excuses for bad behaviour of potential suitors (like this man). It is only when you date them for a while (and live with them) that you know them and can love them. I am not professing to be psychic in your case but here is what I think has happened. You met man off internet and had a nice date. He told you that he was in love with you in the hope that you might get carried away and offer to have sex with him. Since he didn't get what he wanted, he is now moving right along to one of the other ladies he is probably chatting up on the internet who may fall for the love trick. The whole story about his ex and his son is a cowardly nonsense. He could get access through the courts and if he is not willing to stand up to an ex for the welfare of his child would he be a great boyfriend? It is possible the 'ex' is really his wife who has found his texts and threatened to leave him. After all you only know about his life from his account of it and he could be a pathological liar...as many people on internet dating sites are. If he really loved you (and how could he? You haven't known each other in the real world for long), he would be beating your door down to get your attention. I suggest you delete his mobile number from your records and move along being thankful not to be caught up in a nasty mess.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): sadly guys do this - use lame excuses to give the brush off. I once got "my mother is seriously and i need the time to focus on her thus don't have time for a relationship" ... yet 6 months down the line when his mum was apparently better and he now had time to date, i discovered the truth that he'd actually gone back to his ex and when that didn't work ... came to me. Needless to say, things between us didn't work out.
...............................
A
female
reader, raiders  +, writes (29 June 2010):
 I'm with prion on this one, I think he is using his ex as an excuse not to see you again. Don't fall for his lies and keep your distance.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (29 June 2010):
 It's one or the other aunts has it correct but it doesn't really matter either way. I'd say you need to keep looking.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 June 2010):
 If he lets his EX bully him when it comes to HIS life, honestly he isn't worth it.
I'm sorry.
I think you left the ball in his court, now I would not write/text/call him again, unless he gets back to you. Personally I don't see a future for you two. Can you imagine a relationship dictated by an ex? Really?
...............................
|
