A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my boyfriend and i have been dating for a little under 2 years now, next week it will be 2 years and for the past 3 or 4 months we've been having major problems. I don't know what to do because i have no one else to talk to. I don't have as many close friends as he does and he's always leaving with them, and this i understand because these are his friends that he most likely wont be seeing ever again after this summer so he's been spending as much time with them as he possibly can. I'm totally fine with him spending time with his friends but lately they have been getting in the way of us and our plans on what we want to do together. Usually we will set aside timing and dates and whatnot to spend together but sometimes his friends will interupt by giving him a call or text asking if he wants to hang out, sometimes i'm fine with it because then i will either spend some time alone or call up a friend to hang out but i almost feel that this has gotten a little out of hand because he's changed so much since the first year of dating. I've also realized that this has also brought a lot of fights to us and we are constantly fighting. i don't know if it is that or if it is because he or me don't feel the same way for each other anymore. Yesterday for instance I asked him if he wanted to have a picknik down by the creek and he said yeah. So he told me to make myself some food before his so i did and when i was done i asked him what he wanted he said he wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwitch so i made him one but when i gave it to him he got really mad because i didn't use the right peanut butter and i didn't cut his sandwitch in half like he likes it. This wasn't any ordinary fight that we got into because of it, but he flipped out and started calling me a bunch of names and started saying that i was worthless and that i can't do anything right and then i started to cry because here i was trying to do something nice so that we can spend the day together but i'm getting yelled at for not making his food right. Well anyway i started crying and he came over to me and told me to shut up and that there was no need to cry. he said he would eat the sandwitch and he never ate it and kept complaining about it. Well overall i really don't know what to do because i feel that this has gotten out of hand so someone please give me an input
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): It sounds as if both you and your boyfriend are going through a stressful time right now - this could be the root cause of your sudden arguements.
It's not right or fair on you for your boyfriend to drop his plans with you to go out with his friends however. Ask him to set aside at least one day/evening a week for you two to spend quality time togther with no interruptions. Switch both your phones off and put a movie on - just be together.
As for him calling you nasty names over a sandwhich, this is most definately wrong and needs to stop now. You are not worthless and you did nothing wrong - he was bang out of order. Instead of shouting at you for crying he should have been comforting you. Make it clear that you are not a doormat to be walked over. If this ever happens again tell him you're sorry what you did is not up to his satisfaction, but you only did as he asked.
Finally, go out and have some fun! You say you don't have many close friends, whereas your boyfriend does. I think if you had more friends to go out with you wouldn't notice him being gone so much. Grab your closest few girlfriends, get dressed up, go out and have a good time! Talk to people and you'll soon meet new friends. Have some self-confidence, you're a very sweet girl and you deserve the best. So keep your head held high and once you're happier, the arguements should stop.
A
female
reader, Rachella  +, writes (29 June 2010):
 What a total jerk, sounds like this guy wants another mummy type girlfriend, someone to cook for him, clean for him, wait on him, do his every whim and be at his beck & call
I'm not advising you to dump him straight away, but put your foot down sister and become more domineering in the relationship, tell him that if he carries on with this behaviour, your just go on strike, don't wash for him or anything, plus be real close friends with his mum, pour your heart out to her and she will tell you what to say
and if he carries on, threaten to call his mum, he'll soon jump to attention.
p.s if this don't work, please email me for further advice
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2010): It sounds as if both you and your boyfriend are going through a stressful time right now - this could be the root cause of your sudden arguements.
It's not right or fair on you for your boyfriend to drop his plans with you to go out with his friends however. Ask him to set aside at least one day/evening a week for you two to spend quality time togther with no interruptions. Switch both your phones off and put a movie on - just be together.
As for him calling you nasty names over a sandwhich, this is most definately wrong and needs to stop now. You are not worthless and you did nothing wrong - he was bang out of order. Instead of shouting at you for crying he should have been comforting you. Make it clear that you are not a doormat to be walked over. If this ever happens again tell him you're sorry what you did is not up to his satisfaction, but you only did as he asked.
Finally, go out and have some fun! You say you don't have many close friends, whereas your boyfriend does. I think if you had more friends to go out with you wouldn't notice him being gone so much. Grab your closest few girlfriends, get dressed up, go out and have a good time! Talk to people and you'll soon meet new friends. Have some self-confidence, you're a very sweet girl and you deserve the best. So keep your head held high and once you're happier, the arguements should stop.
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