A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My problem is my fiances ex! He has always been her back up guy in the past. Before he met me they were good friends, they have children together. When he started seeing me she became quite nasty to him always having a go about one thing or another. Now her most recent relationship seems to be hitting the rocks she has started to become friendlier and phoning him using silly excuses to talk about the children. He says its a bit unnerving how nice she is being all of a sudden. I must admit its making me a bit paranoid that they might hook up again, my fiance says defiantly no! But he has said in the past she was a hard woman to say no to when she was a bit drunk and wanted sex. How do I stop even giving these thoughts the time of day? I don't want to become the paranoid jealous person about this, they have to have contact they have children together.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2012): Talk to your fiancé about your fears and discuss this in detail. Knowledge is power OP, as long as he's perfectly willing to be completely open and honest with you about all contact they have and keeps you in the loop then that will ease your fears.
OP just because he used to find it hard to say no to her doesn't mean that's still the case.
Just have your discussion and outline your boundaries OP. Things such as he shouldn't entertain any conversation that is sexual or her coming onto him etc. or having conversations when she's drunk. Just let him know where the line is so he won't cross it.
A
female
reader, Peonysheart  +, writes (10 September 2012):
 Trust is key here I believe. Talk to your fiance and let him know how you are feeling. Explain that the situation is bothering you. However you know that he has to be involved because of the children. That you trust him and believe he will handle whatever situations come up that involve the children. He is the only one who can tell his ex to stop. His actions and how he chooses to deal with her is what will make the difference.
Best of luck to you
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