A
female
age
,
*pril l.
writes:Well here it go's. I'm married to a man I love very much. For the past four years we have dealt with his insane ex wife that is a parasite for his money. They have a son I adore but she has braine washed him to be distant from me. My husband has beem physically and mentally abused by her and I have been psychologically abused by her. There have been numerous police invovlements involving there saga. I have tried mentally many times to just let go of the whole situation by praying about it etc. All of a sudden my husband speaks to her and meets her at events for their son. I can't understand this due to the fact that she is destructive and I know she is clinically ill. She has used her children for money for self gain. I try to express my feelings to my husband but I'm basically blown off!.A few weeks ago she called our home and asked for my husband. I said "hold on please" she screamed a few horrible things to me. I called the state police. There is a pending court date for a court order of protection.I understand they have a son and I hate the arguing between them. My husband thinks I want the fighting to go on. This is not true. I can't understand the sudden change! he says it is for his son, but I really think he is just placating and enabling her behavior because if he doesn't cater to her she will flip! I can't attend his newest events and it make me feel like i'm basically nothing. I have been with this child for almost four years and he is five! Am I just a shadow? I'm feeling a lot of sadness just like when my father passed away 8yrs. ago. We went to a therapist and he even told my husband not to speak to her just to email, it was like that for a while but not anymore. I know she will try and manipulate him for something. She has also tortured her husband prior to my husband he noe longer sees his daughters they have together. Help me I feel like im loosing my mind.,I feel like she she will eventually try to lure him away from me also. She is a monster and this is only a tidbit of things she has done. There is not enough space for me to go on and on, April
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reader, april l. +, writes (17 September 2009):
april l. is verified as being by the original poster of the question I am the husband. I love my wife more than anything in the world. My ex is a monster and the past 5 years have been beyond horrible. What I am doing now is letting go of the monster. I am not letting the monster control my mood. I wish the monster would disapear from Earth, but so far that hasn't happened and until that happens I have to remove the monster from the only thing I control....my mind. Just because I am taking the monster out of my head does not mean that I am letting my guard down or stop fighting for my son. I just have to do it in another way. I have been fighting for 5 years for my son and my sanity and the old way obviously wasn't working.
A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (17 September 2009):
 Unfortunately you need to sit down with your husband quietly and tell him up front and let him know that there's two spouses in your marriage not three.
The ex wife is being manipulative and vengeful because she's jealous. She uses the son to intimidate, bully and harass because its the only leverage she has with your beleagured husband.
The best strategy is actually to ask for a change in custody to give your husband full custody and his ex-wife supervised visitation.
The only reason why I raise this is that with all the police reports and the hell she's put you through, a good judge would realize that the child is being abused by the mother!
This is a form of child abuse. He should not be an emotional battle zone between the mother and the father, particularly where the mother is being monstrous and manipulating the father and son to get back at the father.
In some states, parents are often sanctioned or ordered to undergo all sorts of evaluations before they can retain joint or sole custody of a child, if there's sufficient evidence of psychiatric issues or mental abuse of the child.
The other thing is, your husband has to start ignoring the rants and raves of this woman and basically start defending you. If not he's allowing his ex wife to interfere with your marriage, which is exactly what she wants.
If he loves you, he will understand your point of view that you don't mind the ex but for the fact that she's being vengeful, mean-spirited, manipulative and downright evil towards you as a couple.
Other than that, the only other thing to do is just start manipulating your husband back. But that of course would result in divorce number 2.
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