A
female
age
41-50,
*uki
writes:ive been married for 3 yrs and now got a 2 yr old son be4 me and my husband got married he already know that i have a child of my own so its not a problem to him. me and my husband is always far from each other coz of his job he is in the military. he told me too about his ex gf that cheated on him thats y they didnt end up being 2gether.but the ex still sends him emails once in a while. the first time she emailed her is like 2 yrs ago its fine wit me coz my husband lets me read the email its just a hi hello. then she emailed again not long ago that she still likes him and still wants to be a part of my husbands family again. my husband told her again that he is already married. she stopped for a while now she is here again saying that her baby was my husbands. we decided to do the dna but my issues is i ask my husband if he still have feelings for her and he said that he will always have feeling for he coz that was his first real love but she had her chance but she messed up. and we all know that the girl still have feelings for him too. so i ask my husband if i can go with him when they do the dna he said he will go by hiself so there is no problem at all. it hurts me it got me worried and scared. but he told me that no one can bring the past back that all of this is only about the kid that all he wants to know if the kid is his but my worry is still there that they will see each other again. what should i do? should i talk to him about going with him to do the dna?
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ex girlfriend, his ex, military Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Minelisse  +, writes (27 May 2008):
 Hello there...
Trust is very important in a relationship. I understand your doubts and insecurities but you need to be very intelligent through this ordeal. The truth is that by you being there you will not prevent anything from happening. The truth is if they want to continue to see each other, they will... regardless of you! Now, knowing this, what can you do about it? Try to be there for him, to maintain a really good communication channel. Vent about your doubts with friends but try to be the supportive, caring, trusting and understanding wife for him. Let him know you need to know what happened at the meeting and what he felt and that you are trusting him. There's no assurance in love, only patience and trust... and, of course, keep your eyes really open and seek help if needed.
Best of lucks!
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