A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone . I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months at first everything was great as usual , weve got to know each other really well in that time and hes told me he suffers really bad depression .I have tried my best to support him in any way he needs. This weekend i was to go to his but id not heard anything from him obviously im concerned about him so i try ring him he doesnt pick up i waited a couple of hrs incase he was out this time he picked up he said hello as did i he then cut me off . He didnt sound down to me how he answered the phone but i know people cant always tell . I rang him back a couple more times incase it was an issue with signal on my mobile , it would ring or straight to automated voice saying this person isnt available. I wasnt sure what to do so i popped over to his house i knocked on the door and no answer , i then saw the living room light go out . Clearly he didnt want to see me . Usually if he isnt feeling too good he tells me but to hear nothing off him for 5 days and then be cut off i worry. I feel on edge quite a lot and im worried about myself now . I know depression hits people differently ive suffered really bad myself and i cant go down that route again . Im not sure what to do , i dont plan on messaging him unless he messages me first i dont want to hound him but do i end this relationship because its starting to get me down , do i wait for him to message me in the next few days and give him chance to explain things if not i then message him telling him its over ? i really thought he was the one
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 January 2018):
 I will give you the same advice as last time and say end it. I mean he cannot offer you a reliable future if he keeps disappearing. Depression is tough yes but he cannot keep using it as an excuse to do this to you. There is no future here between you both.
A
female
reader, Blueeyes2121  +, writes (26 December 2017):
 Im sorry, in my opinion if someone wants to see you they will see you. If they want to talk to you they will.
Dont give any person more power over your feelings then they deserve.
You tried to reach him and it seems to me he doesnt want to talk, which is very rude, he should break up if he wants to vs. being MIA.
After four months I would move on. If he comes around, I would be clear his immature communication is not okay, esp at holidays.
Hope it helps
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2017): yes i did message the first time but my question didnt come up nearly 24hrs later , i was at a very low point and crying when i wrote the first one . thinking my question hadnt been accepted i composed myself and wrote again when i had calmed down
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A
male
reader, Allumeuse +, writes (25 December 2017):
One more thing to add, if he is so depressed he might harm himself you should contact a member of his family.
If you don't have their numbers then you have to call the police. They will ensure he gets access to acute mental health services.
If you think he might harm himself you shouldn't be reluctant to do this- his non engagement with you means you have no choice. I'm sorry he has put you in this position. When you have done this you have done your duty as a fellow human and you can try to forget about him.
He may be depressed but he chose not to contact you.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (25 December 2017):
 Is this you as well?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-me-why-now.html
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (25 December 2017):
I think the best thing to do is to accept this relationship is over before it even got off the ground, being depressed doesn't give him licence to be so rude to you ....
Don't wait for him to message, say to yourself out loud, "its over" continue with your plan to not message him, if he does message you just delete .... there is too much negativity tied up with him, and he was too gutless to face you, instead turned the lights out on you.
Have a cry and then dry your eyes and get on with living YOUR life to the best of your ability, and leave him to wallow in his.
Sending positive thoughts to you.
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