A
female
age
30-35,
*olyana
writes:Well I’m 24 and his 26. he's had relationships before but not very decent people I’m trying to belittle his ex's or I don’t see my self higher up its just a fact that he brought up many times and I know for my self. The type of girls he dated were disloyal, not committed and cheated or had those kind of issues. He’s never had love from family and only family and love he received are from his friends but its fake. I’m 24 he is my first relationship but I don’t need experience to know to be committed to someone and to be loyal it's got to be in your character. We have been together for 8 months with ups and downs. He is like a big child who thinks his a MAN however nothing near one. I still love him. I never wanted him to change. Just wanted love and care as much as he shows to his friends. His friends only call him when they need him, last resort or whatever not that they really "care" but show that bro love. So recently he was with his friends and I couldn’t get through to him for over 24 hours. He said he would call he never then went drunk with them bla bla. I have no issue with him being with his friends but he could of at least tried to get through to me he chose not to. And this isn’t the first time so I decided to break up obviously heartbroken and dying. But it had to be done.He has been calling me and trying to fix it but pretending like nothing happened. I went next to him to end it because he wouldn’t get the message. When I got there he was being all cute and bla bla and I stopped him then he was like I’m sorry I’m I was with my friends and I kind of exploded and said "f*@# your friends who see you as their pets" that’s when he switched and the guy who was trying to fix it all. of a sudden decided to send me away and said I will delete everything just go . I left crying I was going to di ish ir anyway but to see he never cared killed me. He did care once. He’s always said I’m the one type of person I am the one. And he wouldn’t be able to find anyone like me. He said I’m decent and when we broke up before he guessed my instagram password and was lurking tbrough my instagram to see if I would speak to other guys or move on that quick. I was shocked I thought he didn’t care at all at the time. He couldn’t see anything and he couldn’t be more proud to have someone like me beside him. I know I went harsh with my words but I won’t apologise. . Because it’s true. His friends are people with kids who don’t even care about their own kids and ect. Later when I went home. I put it into better words and said (text). They only call you for this and that and you will realise one day and that hope he finds someone who will love him as much as I did and more stuff obi. then blocked him because I don’t want an answer and don’t think he would to be honest. I think the word pet touched his pride. But he hasn’t got one with them anyway We had a similar issue but I had the opportunity to tell him properly and left it as that never told him to cut his friends off I couldn’t and wont do that when those one the only people he considers as family. He later came around and said you was right about so and so person.We would always spend time together. And now that im gone he will always call his friends but would they be there?Their like "ride or dies' I know very childish that’s how he is. But I still love himWill he come back? Will he realise his mistake? All I ever did was give him my love and believe in him like no-one around him ever did. Always tried to help him see he is that better person he has always felt low. He’s always trying to impress friends and family. I know I can find better but I don’t want better. It’s in him. He has it. Just needs to realise but I can’t be around to have my self thrown to the side.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 December 2017):
 OP, your post is very hard to read.
But I think I get the gist of it. You need to stop being so inconsistent. You say that you don't want him to change but YOU DO!
You want him to have better friends, to value you more, spend more time with you, be more considerate etc. etc.
And there is NOTHING wrong in wanting a partner to do better but you CAN'T force a guy to grow up and THAT is what he needs to do.
His past ex-GF were crappy because HE doesn't HAVE a standard yet and because he likely were a crappy BF too. (just like he has been with you)
I hope for you sake that you find a guy who is more mature, who is better for you.
The whole " know I can find better but I don’t want better. It’s in him. He has it. " No, just no, OP You want to be with this guy because you see some kind of potential in him, however, HE may NEVER reach that potential. You can't date someone because you "think" they can be a great guy. Either they ARE a GREAT match for you or they are NOT.
Just like you wouldn't buy a fixer-upper house if you had no money and no renovation skills - dating someone who isn't what you NEED and WANT is a WASTE of time.
LEARN from this, OP
Date people who give as much back as they take.
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