A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I always knew my boyfriend was hiding something from me regarding his best friend but I was never sure about what it was. I do have trust issues due to be hurt in the past but it was something different this time. It was like I could see it with my own eyes but I couldn't make out what it was.Basically my boyfriend and his best friend, who is female, have worked together for the past few years as holiday reps in Europe over the summer months, and she stayed out there throughout the year. I met my boyfriend while I was on holiday last summer, and we officially got together a few months later when we met up in the UK. I didn't sleep with him while I was over there but we did kiss and arrange to met up when his season finished. Anyway, like I said his best friend lives out there and he goes out once a year for 3 months, or at least did for the past two years. When we got together I found it strange that he would stay in her apartment, but said nothing. Then recently he has started saying about whether I would be ok with him going out there this summer. We live quite far away from each other and only see each other on weekends so I wasn't very keen. I then got a message on facebook from his friend who basically told me I should let him go and do whatever he wants. That he wasn't into relationships and that the whole time he was seeing me last year, during my holiday and after, he was still sleeping with other girls and that it wouldn't stop just because I kept him in England. I knew she never liked me, and I think he does too, but I don't see why she would make something like this up if it wasn't true when she wouldn't see the reaction for herself.I know that holiday reps have a bad reputation for sleeping around but I put it to the back of my mind. Even if we weren't official, it's still nasty when he knew I was interested and I didn't sleep around. I haven't asked him yet if it's true and since the first message I have had more from her, even claiming that she has slept with him since we met. I know that they have slept together in the past but its like she keeps twisting her knife in even more.I don't know what to believe and because it's a long distance relationship, I don't know what he is doing behind my back.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2015): That's crazy. I just don't understand what would now all of a sudden compel her to tell you this. Why didn't this come up before? It's all just very strange. I almost feel like he might be villainizing you. Like he is going back and telling her bad things about you. Perhaps that you are controlling him, you won't "let" him go be a holiday rep, you are insecure and afraid to lose him. And who knows what else he is saying. He is painting you in a negative light and as his friend she feels the need to put you in your place as she comes to his defense. That seems like the only reason why she would suddenly come forward and reveal all this to you. I would still confront him about it but I agree that he does not seem trustworthy, and in more ways than you think.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (20 January 2015):
 My first thoughts was that his friend is a nasty, vindictive jealous sort who just wants to cause trouble.
So either she is telling whopping great fibs to break you up, or he is a cheater. The best way to find out would be to forward ALL those messages to him and ask him what's going on.
If he is a cheater he may try and worm his way out of it, so be alert for HIS whopping great fibs.
Maybe they are a pair who deserve each other, but you really do need to discuss these messages with him.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (20 January 2015):
 I would forward her message on to him and let him deal with it. Why should you run around trying to figure this out? Let him worry about it.
Give it a few days and if nothing comes of it, then you could ask him outright.
To be honest though, we're judged by the company we keep for good reason. Our choice of friends says a lot about us and if this is the sort of person he wants in his life, you might decide you don't need him in yours.
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A
female
reader, Pureflame  +, writes (20 January 2015):
Don't let your mind cook stories in your head. Just go and directly ask him. You even have the messages. At least you will get a clear picture. Just don't mention anything on the phone. If he is a cheater, you don't want to give him time to come up lies. If he already knows about the messages, you still have your answer. Because, he let her talk to you that way.
Make sure you know the whole story, so you can decide.
good luck :)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 January 2015):
 Arrange to met up with him, SHOW him her messages and ask him straight out. IF he IS or HAS been cheating with her, then you know and can drop him like a hot potato. What do you have to lose? If he is cheating well, then you know and good riddance, if he is not... well, then HE will know how his "friend" think and maybe he won't be so keen to go see her.
She COULD also be a vindictive and jealous cow, who is HOPING if he does come visit he will sleep with her. SHE has shown you no proof. It's so FAR only HER words. And add that she doesn't like you (no wonder, if she wants him for herself) I would trust HER over your guy.
I have known a few holiday reps, who were faithful to their partners back him even though they had MORE than able opportunity to sleep with COUNTLESS people who would NEVER tell their partners back home. So saying that ALL holiday reps have a bad rep. isn't fair. It's a stereotype, like blonds are dumb.
I say meet up in person, because YOU know him, you know his body language, hopefully YOU can see if she is lying or not.
One thing I DO agree with (with this "friend") is that IF he is a cheater, keeping him in the UK is not going to make a difference.
Another thing I DO have to say, HIM wanting to GO alone to see her for the whole summer DOES make me think there is more then friendship going on, OR he would have suggested you come visit too. Wouldn't you think?
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