A
female
age
30-35,
*armonyRose
writes:Ive been with my husband, Ben, for 5 years (married for 1) and i do love him. Hes been havin a tough time lately and is suffering with depression and i seem to spend every minute i have picking him up and looking after him, which i have been happy to do untill recently.A little while ago his best friend, Jay, seperated from his wife and at the weekend he spent the night at our house. My husband was tired and decided to go to bed quite early but i stayed up with his friend and gave him a shoulder to cry on. we had both been drinking heavily and were getting on quite well.Before too long the mood changed and Jay started to come on to me. i know he was just missing his wife and nothing happened as i told him i couldnt do it to my husband. It was nice to be given the attention and i know that that was all it was.So why cant I get Jay out of my head? I love my husband but is that enough? i feel as though im suffocating in his depression i dont know if i can hold him up for much longer. Im really confused.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2011): Just don't go there, you will regret it. I would discuss what happened with your husband and or NEVER have this friend over again. You can't get him out of your head because you're needing attention/attracted to him or whatever. You can be chemically attracted to anyone really, but that means nothing compared to love. You need to discuss your husband's depression and figure out new ways for him to improve and to take the load off of you. This is not fair.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2011): You can't get him out of your head because for that short time, Jay made you feel wanted as a woman, not a wife or a carer.
Have you thought about talking to your family GP about support available to you and your husband?
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