A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I love my 44-year-old boyfriend very much but when we socialise he drinks too much. It has happened three times in the last five months. Once we were on a train and a random couple started chatting and before long the woman and he were being over friendly and nudging each other and being childish. Another time he was telling a friend's wife she could hide her money down there (pointing to her bra. I ignored that.) Last week at a family bbq the 15 year old daughter of a friend starts touching his gelled hair and before long he has his arm round her and patting her back. It was all friendly banter but to me its inappropriate. Shes a busty girl and watching him with his arm round her shoulders while she giggled and laughed felt all wrong. We left shortly afterwards and he said he's known the family for a long time and like an uncle to her. He said she was winding him up all evening and there was nothing inappropriate there. How do I get my point across without over reacting? He's 44 with two teenage children.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 May 2017):
 Sit down and talk to him. Tell him that you are not comfortable with him drinking and tell him why. If he refuses to cut down or give it up then walk. Because honestly it won't be worth all the heartache this will cause.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2017): If your happy to stay with a man who touches 15 Ye old children ( because YES she IS a child whether ' busty ' or not !) then I doubt anything anyone says here will make one bit of difference
I'm sorry but the reality this that this guy sounds like a predator
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2017): Sit him down, have a real talk with him and don't worry about over-reacting. Be blunt with him. Tell him he drinks too much in social situations and acts disgusting and creepy--in short he acts like an ass. If he doesn't (and he probably won't) change his behavior, either accept him as he is or show him the door. I'd do the latter.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (4 May 2017):
 Eww, he actually BLAMED the "busty teenager" for "winding" him up as an excuse to be a little creepy?
He might think he is like an uncle to her... "funny uncle" as we call that kind of men.
Now some people DO become more "handsy" when intoxicated, nothing new there - but if it makes YOU uncomfortable and you bring it up and he BLAMES everyone else - that is a clear sign that he doesn't CARE how it makes you feel.
Since I think you want to stay with him, I'd say you might have to ACCEPT that THIS is who he is.
While you can tell him that his behavior when drunk makes you cringe - you have to realize that you can't CHANGE who he is and how he acts. He is 44 and should know better. He probably thinks he is super charming...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2017): If you have mentioned that you do not like him when he drinks more than once and he continues you are done. He does not respect you and would rather drink than be with you. You do not have common values, either refuse his company when he drinks or walk away from him entirely. He did not choose you he chose his addiction.
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