A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi can you please give me some advice/guidance me and my ex had been together just touching 6 years and Planned to Marry next year that all changed two weeks ago he has seemed depressed for a few weeks strained from work snappy arguments not spending much time together, he was constantly in bed the night he went I was up worrying no word nothing next day he came to collect some stuff we got in a massive fight which left us not speaking for a week were now I'm but it seems he's treating me like a mate more than anything I know he cares about me and our kids he sees them regular but I'm left devastated what could I have done to deserve this we have had some sore rations in the past due to him being sort if stressed and not being able to cope with certain things like my pregnancies were a problem he couldn't cope with my hormones he is now up living with his mum and has said he thinks it's going to be a permanent thing he seems like someone else not the man I loved
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2012): Depression is a hormone imbalance in the brain, it can be treated in most cases with temporary medication. Sometimes it runs in families, and often in those cases its a long term illness that requires long term treatment to keep it under control.
I'm no medical expert, but have experienced it myself in the past.
When someone is depressed their outlook on life becomes bleak and uninteresting. They lose motivation, optimism, and enthusiasm in life, and generally just feel miserable all the time.
If its not a genetic thing with him, then it will be due to some aspect of his life that isn't being fulfilled or that is bothering him. Maybe he himself doesn't even know what that is, but subconsciously his mind does.
You said first he's been stressed at work, so the core problem may lie at work. It also could be something he's not happy with at home, or just generally with his lifestyle that needs to change.
I would suggest to you to put the personal feelings aside for the time being, and try to be civil and get along with him, even if it is just as friends. Although he's pushing you away, he actually could probably do with you help and support.
The best thing for him to do is visit his GP to discuss and identify this problem with them. They will be able to give him some temporary medication to motivate him and lighten his mood.
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