A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 7 weeks preganant and very scared. I am due to have a termination on saturday and am very confused if its the right choice. I am in a stable relationship. When i found out i was pregnant i thought i would be happy but i have become more and more deprerssed and worried about it. I am scared i wont cope, that i wont like having a child. I have had some mental health problems and worry this will effect me and be worse if i have a child. I am also scared to bring up a child in this world, i worry it is not safe. I am really scared to make a wrong choice and i feel so guilty and ashamed of myself. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 August 2012):
 I suggest you contact your doctor and see if he can recommend a counselor. You really need to talk this out.
A baby is a lifelong commitment.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2012): I think if you are confused about whether this is the right choice then you should not be having the termination saturday. I think you need to go back and talk about it, weigh up your options and see how you really feel.
I swore i'd never have a termination but when i found out i was pregnant my emotions were all over the place. I was really tempted to have one. But i talked about it ALOT and realised i'd regret more a life without my child than a life with my child. That simple realisation pushed me through. I am not saying it was easy and no parent knows what they are doing or how they will cope, we learn as we go. But its the screw ups that make that child uniquely ours. Also if you are not coping there are services out there to help, midwives, health vistors and even social services will assist etc. You also have your partner and i assume a family behind you. You are not alone. The world will always be a big scarey place but we can't bubble wrap ourselves or our children otherwise we'd never truely live.
I hope you come to the best possible decision for you but for right now i suggest you put the termination off and go back and talk about it ALOT!! You could be just in shock and emotional, you need to have time to think clearly about what you want.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 August 2012):
 if i had known back when i had my kids that my mental illness would be passed on to them genetically (both my kids are ADHD, my older one is Bi-polar the younger one is a depressive) I am not sure I would have had them.
I think that your concerns are valid but I think you need to talk to a counselor more before you make the final choice.
how does your partner feel about this?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2012): If you're in two minds about it then you need to sit down with your partner and think as much through, and talk as much over as possible in this short space of time.
Weigh up the pros and the cons.
You say you have a mental illness, that's a con. But I assume its being treated? If so that's a pro.
You're also in a stable relationship, and you haven't mentioned anything to suggest your partner would be oppose to a child coming into your lives, so I'm guessing without a doubt he will support you 100% in bringing a child up into the world.
Every parent or parent to be worries about their child's safety and well being, its only natural. And because its your first pregnancy, your mind is bound to be doing overtime with all this.
If you do decide to have the baby, there are people you can speak to about your maternal concerns. The midwife is there to help for a certain amount of time after giving birth, and you can also have postnatal sessions set up to help you too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2012): If you're in two minds about it then you need to sit down with your partner and think as much through, and talk as much over as possible in this short space of time.
Weigh up the pros and the cons.
You say you have a mental illness, that's a con. But I assume its being treated? If so that's a pro.
You're also in a stable relationship, and you haven't mentioned anything to suggest your partner would be oppose to a child coming into your lives, so I'm guessing without a doubt he will support you 100% in bringing a child up into the world.
Every parent or parent to be worries about their child's safety and well being, its only natural. And because its your first pregnancy, your mind is bound to be doing overtime with all this.
If you do decide to have the baby, there are people you can speak to about your maternal concerns. The midwife is there to help for a certain amount of time after giving birth, and you can also have postnatal sessions set up to help you too.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2012): I know exactly what are you saying.I am 35yr and I had the same situation...you said you are in stable relationship...what about your partner? Does he know you are pregnant? What did he say?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2012): Hi I do feel for you I had an abortion a few years back after catching straight after my first baby it still haunts me to this day I often think what if?? If I could back I would have had that baby it is personal choice and also you said your in a stable relationship being pregnant is a very stressful time but it can also be a happy one have a good think about it dies your partner have any involvement with it? Good luck x
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