A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello Agonies. My boyfriend and i have been in a 3yr and 6mo. on and off relationship. Throughout this relationship he has cheated multiples of times, constantly lies and mistreats me, no communication whatsoever, doesn't try to make things right anymore, disrespects me, doesn't want to spend time with me as much,puts his friends before, etc. I love him and i've been waiting this long for him to change and do better but somehow he's still acting the same way and treating me the same way. I've done all i could to keep this relationship going and to show him that i really love him and care about him and really want things to work but the only thing i get from him is his ass to kiss. I don't know what i've done to get treated this way. Oneday he acts as if he cares but the rest of the month or so he shows he don't. I think i have real low self-esteem due to fact of me staying this long and i feel as if i won't ever find anyone to treat me better or if i do, i'm going to expect us to fall apart just like me and my bf. I've tried talking to him about all of this, he ignores me, gets mad, hangs up in my face..i've prayed about this numerous of times. I use to cry myself to sleep but now it's like i'm immune to his bs bc i don't really cry anymore or react to the way he continues to treat me. What do i do? Do i stay and wait for him to grow up and treat me like i should? or do i just let this go bc we've came to the end of the road? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (24 August 2012):
 You don't know what you've done to inspire this kind of treatment? Really? No ideas whatsoever?
What you did to earn this treatment (yes, EARN) was not only stick around for it, but work even harder to show your boyfriend you loved him. You rewarded his bad behaviour which inspired more of it. He didn't present his ass to your lips. You presented your lips to his ass.
Your boyfriend's problem isn't a lack of maturity, but a lack of character. That and having a girlfriend wanting for self respect, common sense and some principles.
Yes, you should leave him. The relationship is long over. Time to get out, regroup, salvage what dignity you have left an reinvent yourself.
Oh, and don't bother announcing your break up to your boyfriend. He doesn't deserve the courtesy. Let him hear about it from friends. Change your phone number, block his email address.
A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (24 August 2012):
This is not a relationship: "Throughout this relationship he has cheated multiples of times, constantly lies and mistreats me, no communication whatsoever, doesn't try to make things right anymore, disrespects me, doesn't want to spend time with me as much,puts his friends before, etc."
He is using you. He knows that you love him far far more than he can ever love you and he is taking advantage of this. A man who cares about you wouldn't do these things. He would value your opinions and feelings. He would talk to you and want to spend time with you.. A person who is not your friend and doesn't like you would mistreat you, lie to you, avoid talking to you, spend more time with everyone else but you...
He doesn't even treat you like he likes you. He is not worthy of all the love you have given him. Please accept this so you can collect yourself, find some inner strength, and move on from him. Once you do this, things will get better.
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