A
female
age
41-50,
*rabianmist
writes:HiI have been dating a man for a few months and everything was going really well. He complimented me and wanted to speak and spend time with me. We spent xmas together and I stayed at his (invited of course)Then all of a sudden on the Monday he became very distant and aloof. He didn't even seem that interested in having sex with me. He is now still being distant when I call him and desn't really engage in conversation. If I ask how he is he will reply but then never ask about me and doesn't reply to my texts. I feel really confused as his attitude has changed overnight. Has he lost interest? I feel heartbroken and don't understand what i did. Please help!
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female
reader, arabianmist +, writes (1 January 2011):
arabianmist is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi
Thankyou all for your advice. I think I am just going to give him his space and see what happens. xx
A
male
reader, Love-Wisely  +, writes (1 January 2011):
 As many people have already stated, it could be anything and there is no way to know expect to ask him. Although, I have noticed after the holidays relationships can hit a dry spell. I have felt it before too. Because the holidays are a time filled with socializing, memories, and festivities. Something about them ending, I don't know, seems like a crash. The realities of a year gone by, and a new year ahead come rushing in all at once. The enchantment of the lights and the parties wears off. You are left with the plain facts. I do think the contrast eventually wears off, but it can be rather empty feeling rolling into the winter of a New Year.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2011): Why should you be at the mercy of his coolness? If he has gone cold on you, ask what's up? If you get little response, dump him. I know you care for him, but dignity and self respect stand for a lot and think 'I'm not going to be treated like this by you'. Don't cling on to a brief relationship in hope he is going through some sort of phase. Move on.
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A
female
reader, AuntyMaur  +, writes (1 January 2011):
 sometime men do pull away for so apparent reason--- they hide in thier cave, leave him alone. He will return when he is ready - in the mean time keep yourself busy like going out with a girlfriend - go to the movies whatever it is you like doing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2011): I agree with strontiumdog. (I seriously doubt it's because he's disinterested in sex with you.)
Perhaps he reacted to something you said or did unconsciously, but he's making no effort to articulate his feelings. Ask him if you've done something to upset him to give him and give him an oppurtunity to articulate. If he doesn't take the opportunity, then give him his space.
It could be a personal issue he hasn't shared with you before...perhaps something you said in passing set him off. It might be something totally unrelated to you that he doesn't feel like sharing. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (1 January 2011):
 There's a possibility you haven't done anything and he simply lost interest for whatever reason. Then again, it could be anything, even something miniscule. Some people are just like that. Assuming you had sex when you spent the night at his place, I'd say he was only after one thing and got bored once he got that. In that case it's nothing you did, it's all on him. Whatever the reason may be, you may never know and might wish you didn't know if he did tell you. The best thing to do is accept it and move on, don't give yourself a chance to linger on it or overanalyze. There are plenty of more worthwhile men out there, go out and find one.
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A
female
reader, Secretlife  +, writes (1 January 2011):
Maybe he's dealing with a personal iisue. Try to find out if everything is ok with him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2011): You don't understand what you did, because you did nothing. It was his attitude that changed not your's. Try not contacting him for awhile (like maybe a week or so.) If he misses you, he'll call you. If he doesn't, then it's quite obvious you are not on his mind and you are free to move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2011): take a deep breath. Sometimes when we think that someone is upset the feeling can b hard to shake off. Maybe he had a bad day on monday and now ur reading too much into his mood?
If that isnt the case then i think u need to ask him coz thats the only way ur gonna get any strait answer.
Dont accuse just say somethin like
"babe, is everything okay becoz u havent been yourself in the last few days?" hopefully he will open up to you and it wil b somethin u can solve easily! Good luck! X
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