A
female
age
30-35,
*ane
writes:hey people out there, well i need help my boyfriend is addicted to video games and it annoys me so much. i hate video games because with one of my ex it got between our relationship. and i don't want that to happen to me and him. because i love him too much. what can i do? please help me!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008): I have the same problem with my boyfriend he plays his playstation everyday at least 5 hours or even until early morning and that is not the worse part he has actually given guys that he plays with his phone number and they call him in the hours of the night even in early morning. If they tell him to buy anything there he goes and buys what they say he already bought a video cam so he can see them, that to me is so gay. Oh and I want something he always says he has no money but he spends it on his gay friends. What's fun about talking to gay men on the bluetooth all nigh? His relationships are with those guys and ignores the person that loves him. I think that there must be a compromise but when one person is in the relationship and the other isn't that is hard. It is like you are getting rejected by the person that you love everyday.
A
female
reader, rootsreggaerocknroll  +, writes (1 March 2008):
ive got the same problem as you, except he's 20!
Have you spoken to him gently about how his gaming is affecting you? he might not be aware of it yet.
you could play with him: he'll think its hot and you might learn to love it. you never know.
i really wouldnt suggest asking him to chose because thats never going to end well! try and find a compromise. maybe set a day to spend together with no gaming / distractions every week?
good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008): Grow up
First off, your ex. That is your ex, keep your problems with him out of your new relationship.
Second, YOU hate video games, but it is your boyfriends fault? Right... what color is the sky in your world?
Video games are a common passtime, blaming your boyfriend for your issues is a bit silly don't you think?
No healthy relationship can exist when one partner tries to stop the other from doingsomething they enjoy, would you give up your hobby if he asked you too?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008): I have the same problem with my man. Firstly does he realise there is a problem? If not you must explain, as kindly and calmly as possible. This may be all that is needed. Don't try and force him away from what he enjoys doing as this will strengthen his resolve to play them and make him dismiss you rather than the games. You could accept a compromise by asking him to reduce the time he spends on his games, but you will have to sacrifice something for him in return. Some people cannot accept that their partner had interests before they came along, and issue them with an ultimatum - e.g. "it's me or the games." Do not make this mistake because he will probably get rid of you. :/ Just talk to him; if he values your relationship he will listen and compromise. But there needs to be understanding on your part too.
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A
female
reader, Dawnie +, writes (1 March 2008):
 It depends how often he is playing it each day, if it is constant then you need to reach a compromise. If it is just the odd hour here and there, maybe you can ask him to turn it off if you have something else planned. My husband plays playstation etc with the kids and sometimes he is on his pc playing poker. It doesn't bother me, if i want us to do something as a family or watch something together he always switches it off and leaves it for another time when i am busy. The only time i would get annoyed is if the house was a mess and he was just sitting there oblivious playing games, usually though i can say to him to help and he does. The other thing you could do is agree a time when you don't mind your b/f playing games, maybe agree certain evenings and then have your weekends free to socialize.
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A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (1 March 2008):
 How much does he play it. If its a couple hours a day its not too bad if its much more he might have a problem, but tell him you want to spend time with him and he should turn off the game sometimes
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2008): have you even tried to play or join in with his hobby? have you asked him to stop playing and spend some time you doing something? just complaining is never going to solve the problem. next time you want him to stop have an other activity planned.have fun!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (1 March 2008):
 You need to talk to him about his addictions because video games are very additive.
You need to set your limits and boundaries. If you can agree , then it will be fine.
If cannot, then you have no alternative but to force him to choose either you or video games.
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A
female
reader, velvetluv21 +, writes (1 March 2008):
At any age boys are obsessed with video games but at your age good luck getting them to pay attention to anything else. I don't think you will win this without coming to a compromise. Just tell him that you are okay with the video games as long as he gives you some attention too. Chances are he doesn't even notice that you're bored or unhappy. Boys don't get a clue until their 20's and even then they're still morons.
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A
female
reader, gretchen  +, writes (1 March 2008):
 You're probably not going to like this advice, but maybe you should try playing a video game with him? Ask him more about what he's playing, what the purpose is, how to play, etc. My boyfriend plays video games a lot, and he swears there is nothing better and sexier for him than hearing me ask something about his gaming or for me to play with him on multiplayer. He loves showing me what he knows and you'll see that he'll become more interested in things that you do because you have shown that even though you don't like video games very much, you respect that he likes playing them. It sounds like you need to accept that your boyfriend loves video games and he's not going to change for you. The best you can do is weigh up how much you can tolerate video games in your relationship and ask him to spend less time on gaming and more on you.
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