A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Yesterday in my class, I sat next to this guy and a while later he suddenly asks me if he had me in his previous class last semester, he said he notices me. An hour later he wrote me a note, asking if I'm from around here and we got to know each other more through the note.So we decided to hang out after class, it was late already when the class ended' around 10 p.m. So I decided to hang out with him, we didn't know where to go, so we sat and talked in the car. I felt excited to know him because it has just been 3 weeks that my ex broke up with me. I just got out of a 4 year long relationship. The guy tells me that he has a girlfriend and that they've been fighting a lot. He said he was wanting to hang out the next day and we exchanged numbers. I decided to make the move and call him, but he hasn't called back.. And we didn't end up hanging out. But I thought it was a good thing, because I also feel sorry for his girlfriend. But summer class just started and I'm going to have to see this guy all the time...and going to start to like him. He seems interested to know me first, is it normal for him not to call?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2010): To me it sounds as though this guy has some issues to work out with his girlfriend. He probably thought since he is having problems with his girlfriend that he would get together with someone else and then never called back because maybe he couldn't go through with it. I know you said he just wanted to hang out but that's what they all say....he doesn't just want to hang out!!! He wants to forget his problems with his girlfriend and your a good way of forgetting. I'm not saying he is not interested in you, maybe he is, but don't invest any time or effort into this yet because it doesn't sound like he knows what he wants. You can be civil but when it comes to 'hanging out' I don't think that would be a very wise choice. Sorry if that's not the answer you were looking for.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2010): It sounds like he is interested in you, but with another girl in the picture things could get difficult. That may be why he didn't call.
I can understand you wanting to get to know him more, but I would say to just be careful. He already has a girlfriend. Although he has told you they are fighting a lot, you don't really know what the relationship is like between them. He can tell you anything he would like you to think, and it might not necessarily be true.
My advice would be to try and keep some distance from him if you can. I know that won't be easy, but if he has a girlfriend I think a lot of people could get hurt if you became emotionally involved with him. If you can't or don't want to stay away from him, then maybe you could just be friends, and avoid anything more if possible. If he really likes you, and he is unhappy with his girlfriend, then he should end the relationship before starting anything with you. Or, if he is unhappy but doesn't want to break up with her, he should focus on improving things, and not seek companionship elsewhere.
It is your call though, but I think it would be wise to be a bit cautious here. Otherwise, I think people may end up getting hurt, including you, which is something we don't want to happen! Good luck. x
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