A
male
age
41-50,
*astplace
writes:I started a relationship with a girl that I have known for a very long time (12 years). I had a crush on her since the first time I met her. We stopped talking for about five years and in that time she got married to a guy that does not treat her good at all.We started talking again about a year and a half ago and started a semi-serious relationship. She is still married and I get to see her once a week. Our relationship has toned down a lot over the last month and I am afraid she might be working things out with her husband. She has a plan she tells me and makes me believe that it is leaving him and coming to me soon but I just don't know. I am so in love with this girl that i would be completely devastated if she chooses him over me. I am so confused that I don't know what to do. I am afraid to give her a ultimatum cause I am afraid she will leave me, not cause she wants to cause I pushed. Any suggestions?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2008): Makes plenty of sense. Let her know that you'll be there for her as a friend and nothing more and tat you have to protect your feelings too. She should understand that. And if she love you she's not going to want to hurt you.
A
male
reader, Lastplace +, writes (1 February 2008):
Lastplace is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIts just been a roller coaster ride. She makes me feel loved one week then the next its like we are just friends. It wouldn't be as bad I don't think if the relationship didn't go back and forth from friends to lovers. Does that make sense?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): No doubt you would be crushed. If she really loves you back, you can bet on that it's equally hard for her, if not harder. She's the one in the marriage, not you. She's the one that made that committment. So you shouldn't see it as her choosing him over you. That would be if this guy was just her bf. She could be really confused trying to do the right thing and wanting to be happy. If she is working things out with her husband yes you would be devastated, but if you love her you will support her decision. Don't give her an ultimatum. Express how you feel to her. If it's meant to be she will come to you. If you really love her & she love you, then she must be worth waiting for. So don't give her an ultimatum. Let her work it out on her own. Let her know you want to know where you stand. If she's unhappy in her marriage she needs to come to her own conclusions with her husband (without you) and not be pushed by external forces.
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