A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for over 4 years. I love him so much. Lately he has been acting wierd. I can't figure out what it is. I know he has been getting frustrated because we have been fighting all the time in the last 2 months. I am not exactly sure why we keep fighting. I don't like fighting either. It has gotten to the point that I broke up with him a few days ago. Once we talked about it, he told me that we can work on things. Yet, he is never very serious when we talk. Him and his brothers have become obsessed with Xbox 360 live. They will sit in front of the t.v. for several hours to play. My good friend is dating my boyfriend's brother and we are constantly talking to each other about our problems. We seem to have most of the same problems with them. You can definitely tell they are brothers. When I try to talk to my boyfriend about problems with our relationship, he rolls his eyes and gets annoyed that I am bringing things up. He told me that he doesn't want to talk to me about problems with our relationship and that I should just talk to someone else about it. I feel like he is the one I should talk to since my problem is with him. It has even gotten to the point that he decided that its okay to curse at me. When he is annoyed that I am bringing up problems in the relationship, he starts yelling and cussing and says "are we seriously talking about this again." When I tell him that I don't want to be in a relationship like this anymore he says "Yea right, I know you're not going to leave so I am not worried about it." He has been hurting me so much lately. How do I get him and his brother to take me and my friend seriously? I don't want them to look at us as weak but we are not ready to leave them yet.
View related questions:
broke up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (19 July 2007):
 It seems right at the end, you answered your own question.
'I don't want them to look at us as weak but we are not ready to leave them yet'
These brothers have you and your friend exactly where they want you both. They can continue to treat you both badly, because you are letting them. To me it sounds like your boyfriend and his brother arn't being very mature and apreciating you two girls and it doesn't look like they will even have to make any effort, because they both know you and your friend wont walk away. How very very annoying !!!
You say that your boyfriend gets annoyed everytime you try to talk about the relationship and he doesn't want to talk about the problems...well why should he?, he already has what he wants and needs!!!. He has you (obviously a good kind caring girl), he has the status of having such a great girlfriend, he has his brother around him, who is reinforcing his bad treatment of you, because the brother is treating his girlfriend in the same way. He has his x box games to entertain him...Lord he does have a great life doesn't he...but what about you and your friend?...what do you get?
If you girls arn't ready to quit, then it's time to shake these guys up out of their comfort zone. If you cannot do it through verbal means i.e. talking it out, then try a little non-verbal action. Both get dressed up and go out and have a good time without them, make yourselves absent from them for a while, let them know that your bored and upset at being treated like this, so you don't want to spend time with them. It may make them realise what they are missing out on. If they don't change, you have two choices, either suck it up and let things continue as they are, or go find some more attentive boyfriends.
Good luck to you and your friend
Aunty Em
|
