A
female
age
30-35,
*ola29
writes:my boyfriends always trying to make me feel bad when i dont give him attention, like call and text more or say romantic things. and I DO ! i make an effort, and one second he appreciates and the next he just says i dont do enough. its upsetting me and im getting tired of it. the neediness is too much. especially with the where are you's and what are u doing other than talking to me, and are u with another guy! and no matter how much i tell him to stop and that ill try, it just never works. Im beginning to think the reason he does this, is not only to change me entirely to his satisfaction but that he doesnt want to be with me anymore...is this true?help please
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female
reader, Spades  +, writes (5 July 2010):
 Get out of this relationship while you still can. This guy clearly has no regard for your personal space. You don't need to keep coddling and reassuring him. He has to get over his own insecurities.
A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (5 July 2010):
 Its very simple. He's trying to control you. Wanting to know where you are and who you're talking to when you're not with him is not love, its manipulation.
My recommendation is that you end it now, before you get in any deeper.......
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010): Some guys really lean on to there girls, Some will give up friends and family just for you, and by doing so he will become lonely and confused, i strongly recomend talking to him as soon as you can, but make sure you have time to talk, dont get mad or mouthy at all if he is showing he is getting fustrated or a bit mad, just let him him that you want to talk about how much you love him(if you still do) and how you want to fix things.
Because if your busy at work you just need to explain that to him and let him know you are busy, and text him if you get a brake just to say "hey baby,or, Whats up :)" something try to show him that your happy to see and talk to him, and let him know if you need to relax try to find ways to relax together or even invite him over and talk about your day and how it sucked or how it was intresting.
Another thing is guys are REALLY physical, so give him a hug or a kiss when you seem him and dont make it a quick thing, like wrap your arms around him like you havnt seen him in a few weeks odds are this might though him off so if he dont react its becuase he isnt use to seeing you like this so just give him time and soon you will seem him smiling and happer then what he was.
This will get him to stop buggin you about how your not really trying, its really simple as just a goos tight hug or a nice kiss not a pek but you dont have to make out just one of the slow lasting kisses
I hope this helped, and hope everythign will work out sucks to see small things tear apart something that can be so good
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010): I don't think it's either...I don't think he is trying to change you or wants to leave you. He is insecure. It is his issue. He seems like the type of person who needs contstant reassurance and I bet it's frusturating. I am the exact same way, so i understand how he feels. Logically I understand things but emotionally I fall apart...I know my boyfriend loves me, thinks I'm beautiful etc etc but I go into panic mode when we are apart. My mind goes on a rampage and I envision him finding another girl or wanting to leave me, or think that he's doing "bad" things when really I know he's not. It's difficult. It's difficult for both people. I don't think that there is anything you can do but be understanding and supportive. It is his issue and he needs to realize what he does, takes accountability for it and take action. He needs to deal with it. You need to set your own personal boundaries and not let him exhaust you - and you need to be able to walk from the relationship if it becomes too emotionally draining on you. You need to take care of number one...which is you.All the best
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