A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 2 years who I am extremely happy with has a close friend who is a girl who "all the guys love" I'm jealous of her and dislike her @ the same time but he doesn't know it..what do i do? everytime she is brought up i am angered.
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female
reader, Clarey  +, writes (23 August 2007):
 I am pretty old now (!) and have to say I have never known a close girl/boy friendship that did not have some kind or flirty frisson going on there too. How many married couples do you know where the wife has a close (straight)male friend who she sees appart from her husband? And how many husbands have these close girly friends that exclude their wives? Answer: they don't really exist as you get older you realise that emotional intimacy with a member of the opposite sex is betrayal and can lead to more dangerous situations. He may not do anything about it but you are both young and looking around for your best match. Flirting is part of it. What it means is that you are too young to settle down. You should do the same and get yourself a couple of nice male friends to see. If he does not like it it may help him realise a new aspect of developing trust and protecting an intimate and important relationship. The world is still your oyster too you know.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2007): I hear you. How annoying. Well your best bet is to not be too jealous about it (unless of course she is trying to steal your boyfriend or flirts with him). But it's not worth you making a huge fuss about as much of a nuisance as I know it is. Because if you start acting real jealous you are going to be percieved as the bad guy and her the innocent victim. And that would be even more annoying.
I personally have been there and I am not crazy about my guys having close girl friends. I just like guys who hang out with guys. You know? And the older I get the more confident I am about expressing to my guys what I like and don't like.
You don't have to pretend that you love the situation cause you don't. He is not going to hold that against you. Not if he loves you. And he will understand. But don't be jealous either. That's all.
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A
female
reader, lildeesbg +, writes (23 August 2007):
 It is normal to have those feelings of jealousy and dislike for a girl who is that close to your boyfriend and is so liked by other guys. However, dont focus on the other boys, there not your boyfriend and it will only increase your anger.If you can honestly answer that when your boyfriend and this girl are around each other there is NO flirting, or inappropriate actions between them then you need to let it go. This will not be the first or the last time you will be with a guy who has a girl as a friend. If you bring it up constantly and let your insecurities win they will only lead to conflict between you and your boyfriend and eventually, you two might even break up. However, if you do feel uncomfortable with how your boyfriend acts around this girl then you need to bring it up to him in a mature conversation. Explain to him in detail what actions he is doing when he is around her which makes you upset. If he loves and cares for you he will watch his actions. Be that girl who others are envious of how she handles situations like this and have a healthy relations to prove it!~dee
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