A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I dated this guy for about a year and a half and then we broke up. However, we still talked every day, saw each other and did basically everything people in a relationship do. I never thought for a second that he was looking for other people. I looked at his phone and there were naked pics of girls from work, he said his friend had been using his phone. Then about a month later I found emails to and from girls and he had been emailing his ex about how much he loved her, etc. He also made a dating profile which I found. I confronted him about the dating thing and he said that his ex made it to make me upset (which is a complete lie). He then turned everything back on me and said I was accusing him of things that weren't true although the proof was right in front of us. But I apoligized and about a week later he asked me to be his girlfriend again. He still has another dating profile up and is still using it. He doesn't know i know this and i have no idea how to confront him about it. He's talking to other girls in more than a friendly way and i consider that to be cheating. Through all of this he always tells me he loves me and I see him basically every day. I'm so confused and I don't know what to do and it sucks because I love him. Please help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries +, writes (20 March 2009):
eugh he's a trollop!
he knows how to work your buttons he knows how to make you feel bad about yourself when you have NOTHING! to feel bad about he's flirting with other girls to keep them all on their toes and then when he finds something better it's buh bye to you and move on.
but he'll always keep you there don't you worry so he knows your there for when soemthing goes wrong in a relationship and wants to try and get back to you.
but do not take this from him!
you're soo much better than that!
the agony aunts are right look at yourself in the mirror and take a stand and say to yourself i do not! deserve this kind of treatment i am a billion times better than that!
and you are! and you'll find someone who appreciates you and doesn't take you for a random ride when he wants too.
you're definately better off without him hun!
don't let yourself be miserable he even made it turn to be your fault when it's not! not at all!!!
you've got the proof and he knows you do.
he's playing mind games!
GET OUT THERE NOWWW!!!
hope this helps hun!
let me know how it goes.
xXx
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (19 March 2009):
This is going to sound harsh, but someone has to say it...you have made yourself too available to this man! I am not an advocate of one of those 'how to do dating' books, but you should read back your post and maybe you will understand where you are going wrong here. Basically, he may say he loves you but his actions speak louder than words. He is dating you until someone better (...in his eyes) comes along. You already broke up once and there would have been a reason for that. You don't sound very confident about asserting yourself in this relationship and he sounds like he holds all the cards here. You can go through life saying he can treat me rubbish because 'I love him', or you can look in the mirror and think I deserve better than this. Of course you deserve better, and when the right man comes along he won't be looking elsewhere...stop seeing him everyday, stop thinking you can be friends with him (as you are too emotionally involved for that) and walk away before he hurts you again.
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A
female
reader, Cookies +, writes (19 March 2009):
You may love him but he is not loving you back. This dude sounds like a womanizer. He is lying about it all; sounds like he loves himself more than you. I would leave he is not worth having you if he cant be open and tell you whats really going on. Naked pictures of woman is one thing but of co-worker thats a different planet. You sound like a good person, to good for that loser. You have to be strong and leave; then he will see how much he has lost. If he doesnt than he never cared.
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A
female
reader, Paula4u +, writes (19 March 2009):
Just let him go, honestly find happiness with some one else it would be much better for you. There are honest men out there, so dont give up on them.
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