A
female
age
30-35,
*onfusedlover10
writes:My ex boyfriend broke up with me 2mths ago. he sees how much of a toll it has taken on me. after all the crazy crap that we've been through the roller coaster of my emotions and pissing him off, he decided to end it all. We had sex Saturday and I became attached all over again and began to look extremely desperate and he begged me to leave him alone. I couldn't tell you how many times he asked me to leave and how many times he told me not to expect any calls or msgs from him. The very next day he text me telling me that he will give me another chance because he doesn't want to hurt me. He knows that him being out of my life shattered me and it hurt tremendously. He's willing to sacrifice his happiness just to see me happy. Would it be selfish of me to take this chance he's giving me and try to make this thing work? Or should I be selfless as he is being selfless, and allow him to be happy?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2015): I'm so sorry to tell you this, but he is playing with your mind and your emotions.When he told you over and over that he wasn't going to get in touch, he was already planning on doing so. He knew that if he persuaded you that you were never going to hear from him again and then you did!!....how happy and surprised and even more at his mercy you would be. What a horrible way for you to learn a life lesson, but look upon this at exactly that. Don't let yourself be hoodwinked again. Time to grow up a little and realise that all is not what it seems all the time. Start installing little alarm bells that will warn you when this type of behaviour is being practised on you again.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 April 2015):
 Why waste any more time on this guy?
I think you "clingy" behavior is an act of desperation (which I have to say is pretty unattractive) because it makes you do things like text/msg bomb him into oblivion or till he just HAS HAD enough.
HE doesn't WANT you back, he just saw a chance for some "easy" sex. This wasn't even about you. IT was about his penis.
You write:
"He's willing to sacrifice his happiness just to see me happy. "
WHY would you want that? And why is him being with you such a MISERY for him? Are you seriously thinking he cares?
Would YOU sacrifice YOUR happiness for a guy who doesn't really love you?
It sounds so dramatic and over the top.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (13 April 2015):
 I think you need to clarify two critical details of your submittal.
First: You write: "...We had sex Saturday and I became attached all over again...." which REALLY means; "I lead with sex and believe that if I offer it often enough a guy will love me in return..."
Second: You write: "...to take this chance he's giving me and try to make this thing work?..." WHAT is the "chance he's giving you"???? Oh, you mean the chance to sell your soul and self-esteem to him again???? Hell.... you don't even really SELL it!!! ... you simply DONATE it!!!!
Stay away from this guy for AT LEAST six months... Spend lots of times thinking about yourself... and what you think a "relationship" really is... Because, what you described in this submittal is not anything even REMOTELY resembling a relationship. It is HIM using YOU for a soft, warm vagina... WHEN HE WANTS IT (only)!!!! And, as you've described herein, he can depend upon you to come through for him, every time (so far)....
Good luck...
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (13 April 2015):
I think you should be realistic here... How long do you think he'll stick around? Her may want to get laid from someone who's totally into him (good for his ego) and nothing more.
Even if that's not the case, when you start behaving in the way that made him leave then he'll leave you again, I promise! Do you really want to go through another breakup?
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