A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know this is long but please read, I'm in my first "proper" job and its annoying me. I'm 21 and in my current temp job till the end of May. I really enjoy the workplace though I am the youngest person there by about a decade, and I get on well with most people. However there is an older guy from the head office in London who comes in about once every month to oversee some stuff our departments doing (over Easter he was coming in every day to do some work ) and every time he sees me he flirts with me. This has been going on since October when I started and makes me very uncomfortable. He's 37 btw though keeps using slang like "bruv" and "safe" around the office and trying to sound cool and young and does stuff like walk around with sunglasses and leather jackets on.I have to work with him alone a lot and he hasnt been physically grabby or anything but he flirts with me obviously (I know he has a gf who just had their baby too because I've heard others in the office mention it). He's only 5"7ish and skinny so not that intimidating but it does annoy me. He keeps watching me whenever I am around, coming up and trying to chat to me even if Im at the water cooler, and giggling like a 5 yr old and saying "Dont be shy" and "are you nervous? taking your time" when I am doing stuff like sign my name on important docs.Another time I was carrying a big stack of A4 paper out of the meeting room and he winked and me and said "Careful, you'll strain that delicate little figure!". And once I walked into the room when he and another guy I know were there and he told the guy to "Give the report to Stunning" and made a head gesture for the guy to to give them to me. I was shocked so took the report and said thanks and then walked out (was meant to go anyway but didn't say goodbye) but after that he didn't talk to me and kept complimenting other girls in the office in front of me for the next 2 weeks he was in, was I supposed to say thank you?! I'm not even that good looking (I'm about 5"1 and look like Nina Dobrev if anyone knows who she is?)..I only have to see him about 3 or 4 more times till I leave (I think) but I am not looking forward to it at all. He is quite a higher up and I need a good report from him to my boss but obv I dont want him to continue esp. if he has a gf and baby! Having said that I dont have the time to report sexual harassment either, and I need him to give my boss a good recommendation so I'm in a fix.. Should I have a word with him or be nasty to him (tried being cold but it just seems to encourage him to try harder) or what? I don't think hed ask me out or anything, maybe he's just "playful flirting," but it makes me feel bad. I havent called him out for anything either, not even referring to me as stunning instead of by my actual name, just tried to act normally.He's also pretty serious to everyone else in the workplace so I dont know if Id be taken seriously, its only when we're alone he starts teasing me and such.what to do? thanks :(
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at work, flirt, my boss, shy, teasing, workplace Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Keeley345 +, writes (23 April 2015):
Being a temp does'nt help. Temps don't have many rights and can get let go at anytime with no reason. I've never done temp work but know people who have, especially girls who've also experienced what you have. Do you say anything? If it's making you uncomfortable yes! Do you temp via an agency? If so talk to them about this. Maybe they can do something to help. No employer wants a harrassment lawsuit be it this company you're temping for or an agency. Nor do you have to be miserable around this disgusting man! Nip it in the bud asap! First talk about it with other people you work with maybe some other temps who might work there with you. For all you know he may also be trying it on with another temp girl. Make your feelings known hun, let people know how uncomfortable you feel. But start with people you trust first. Being a temp is risky as your job isn't as secure as permanent staff would be.Also actions speak louder than words. Give him 'daggers' (dirty or cold looks) Don't laugh at his jokes and avoid him if possible. You never know he may get the message or other people may notice your reaction to him and help. But remember you're not the only one who's had to deal with this sort of thing. It's unpleasant sure, but common. But it CAN be dealt with.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (14 April 2015):
 Ah, the creepy guy at the office...
I do think documenting it all would be a good idea. I know when I was temping back in the day I was asking to give a report of the job, job description and work environment (as it help the temp agency match temps and jobs better) - so if your agency has the same thing going on, DO that. Which means keep a log. (Like Tisha mentions).
Personally, I'd tell him next time he goes over the top with the flattering - "all right, that is enough with that flattering, I'm sure we both have work to be done". Or my name is Jane, not stunning.. If he doesn't GET it, I MIGHT tell him, hey, could you knock it off it makes me uncomfortable.
But at your age and at a temp job... I probably wouldn't have - I would have ignored it, and taking the recommendation and NEVER looked back.
IF this was a permanent job? Yes, I would have reacted and said something WAY more harsh.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 April 2015):
 Document, document, document. Log every contact with him. Write it down.
You say you don't have the time to report harassment, either?
I'd go to a trusted female colleague and ask her, hypothetically, of course, *wink wink*, what someone who might experience these things you list her should do.
Start with this post. You have a whole list of things that are making you feel uncomfortable and threatened.
If it's only when you are alone that he begins harassing you, then maybe turn on the recording function of the smart phone and save those files.
If you are in a temp job then speak to the person who hired you.
You sound like you are being bullied/harassed so speak up and go to the person in the firm with all your documentation. Here in the US if you had all those things documented you could probably get a nice settlement from the firm in order to avoid a sexual harassment lawsuit!
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (13 April 2015):
Well, in my opinion, it's worth ignoring him and nothing more. You couldn't file sexual harassment claims against him because you first would have to tell him that he's harassing you and it needs to stop.
I know it's annoying, but I don't think it's worth making a big deal out of it since you'll be leaving soon and really, he's not harassing you, he's just flirting. There is a difference.
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