A
female
age
51-59,
*yanna
writes:I have this friend. We have been friends since she was 18 and I was 23. When I was 25 I went to visit her at her family home. She had a brother. He was 15 and very shy. I don't remember it, but she told me years later how shy he was and how suprised when he decided to jion us when we went out to a bar for a non alcoholic drink. When he was 18 he moved to the city and the three os us would go to the cinema every monday. then my friend went to the USA and i lost contact with the brother.He dropped out of college and went to America too unbeknownst to me. He did write once. When I got an email address a few years later my friend, who had now returned home suggested I email him. I did. We have been emailing for 8yrs now and sending each other photos and presents.Anyway back to 1999. The Brother, lets call him John, had a friend who was dying. He came home for a week to visit him yet he wanted to meet me and his sister drove him up to my city to visit me. I was very very suprised. that summer his brother got married in America and I, now practically a member of the family,was invited. It was then I realised that he had a very deep crush on me that every member of his family noticed except my friend. he never left my side for two weeks. It was amazing. We even spent a day in New York alone together. Every time he came home for christmas it was the same. then he started dating a girl where he lived. she was lovely and they lasted a few years. Then he told me with tears in his eyes that he couldn't give her what she wanted. Every year regardless of the relationships in our lives myslf and my friend holiday together. Her sister joined and then it was the three of us and we have become close. In the last 3yrs John has also travelled across the world and gone holidaying with us. He spends most of his time with me and even my friend has begun to notice and she wasn't pleased. She was always especially close to him, she hates the idea of a friend dating her brother, for the obvious reason that if it doesn't work out it can destroy everything.I have kept him at arms length because that family's friendship is very precious to me and I'm concerned about the age difference. Anyway he's never expressed his feelings to me.He has complimented my figure, wit, intelligence my hair, he even once exclaimed to his sister once "Even her handwriting is beautiful" He would constantly find ways to touch me, playfully.When four, five or ten of us went for a walk it was soon the two of us and the rest behind.Last week I returned from one of these holidays. He opened the car door for me everyday. He flirts with me.He carried my luggage, put his fingers in my hair, wiped my cheek when a fly landed on it. He told me all about what happened to him over the year and when I told him stuff he would sit there staring fixedly.He would offer me his hand as we climbed steps. Then we flirt and play games. I chased him around a maze. Then we had an endurance competition and of the four of us on holiday it was the two of us who were last. He suggested I share his room to see who would crack first. That didn't happen but the next day I let him win and he didn't gloat as everyone expected.I wonder did he realise what I had done, I really don't know. This holiday my friend didn't seem at all annoyed by what was going on.As usual hetook loads of pictures of me. This time I was a little more affectionate then before, a little less guarded probably because my friend didn't seem to mind for the first time since she had realised there was this sexual tension between us.This has been a 14yr story. Now I haven't been pining for him all this time, occasionally yes, but mainly he has been a very pleasant sidebar in my life. He still lives 3000 miles away, but that might change. I do really like him,I could fall for him and I'm strongly physically attracted to him. However I 'm not going to say anything. I just want people's opinion on this. Could a 15yr old boy fall for a 25yr old girl and still feel strongly about it 14yrs later. Should I encourage him? Has anyone else been in a similar situation?Thanks
View related questions:
alcoholic, christmas, crush, flirt, my figure, on holiday, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2007): Hey,Is it like he's 29 and you're 39 or something? Then I don't think there's a problem. When he was 15 and you were 25, the difference would've been huge but now it's not.And maybe this guy has had a crush on you since he was 15. That is like, amazing. If he has liked you that way for that long, he probably will never stop liking you? You're the one for him.I really don't see why you would not go for it. Your friend will be ok I'm sure.I hope you will be together with him. Good luck:)
A
female
reader, myanna +, writes (22 June 2007):
myanna is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think its very old fashioned to think its okay for a guy to be ten years older than the girl, like my parents and vice versa. Women live longer anyway.I don't mind him being younger than me if he doesn't mind. I do think his siter might once have minded. However he is a very unconventional person , I know hed laugh his head off if I said I was too old. Anyway I think Ill leave it up to him.If he returns home then he might make a move if not then that's it. Either way I'm going to carry on regardless. However I did want to share it with people because i'm a little at a loss as to his thinking and I appreciate the responses.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007): I don't think the age difference matters, and I think your instincts are telling you that he has that crush, and of course he could have a crush from 14 years ago and still think fondly of you...
I think the relationship will just develop and you will know one way or the other, time will tell, and you can give it a little nudge if you wanted to do so.
I think your friend would understand if the feeling was mutual between you even if it did not work out as a permanent relationship. But that is the thing, you have to decide if you are willing to jeopardize the friendship with this man, is it lust or love and are you merely attached or are you falling in love?
...............................
A
female
reader, heartxbrokenxgurl  +, writes (22 June 2007):
 well id say dont go for it one you are 10 yrs older then him and my opinion is that the guy shuld be older becuz it makes more sence, im sorry that you like him i just cant picture you and him together you can ask if he still likes you but i would say people will think it is very weird and i dont usually say does matter, but right now i would say age matters in this situration cuz ur 10 yrs older then him and ur the gurl so its a lil strange to be atracted so a guy 10 yrs younger
...............................
|
