A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hoping people can help out here and would appeciate it if they did. I broke up with my ex about six months ago. He kind of hurt me and so I have gone the no contact route and have avoided going places where I think I might run into him. Likewise he has been avoiding me but he is a skilled manipulator. I have caught his friends commenting and remarking on things I have told him in confidence or making comments to me about things he knows I am sensitive about. In short, he is using these people to get his little arrows in my heart. We share friends so I do not know how to handle this. Why is he doing this and how do I handle it. I cannot get over how he is able to do this and it seems that he gets the luxury of not facing me but still pulling this.
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male
reader, guppypig  +, writes (26 March 2009):
In future, be careful with whom you share confidences. This should teach you not to trust anyone who hasn't earned your trust. That applies both to your ex and these so-called friends.
For now, make new friends. The best revenge is living well.
A
female
reader, 48years  +, writes (26 March 2009):
 Sweetie, take the high road. The best way to deflect an arrow to your heart is to whip out a BIGGER one. If your friends say, "your ex says you have a moustache", respond with something more interesting and bordering on rediculous, like, "yes, I do, and I was thinking of growing it super long so I could donate the hair."
Ok, not the greatest exAMPLE, BUT THE GIST IS TO LAUGH AT ALL OF HIS MANIPULATIONS AS IF THEY WERE SILLY.
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