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female
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*ngeld05
writes: my boyfriend and i have been together 3 years and have 2 beautiful kids but since the birth of our 2nd child things have been different. he stays out all the time and is always textin other girls who he says are just friends. he says he still loves me but is unhappy and doesnt no y please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2006): Yes, he knows why.. but he just can't or refuses to tell you. In all relationships, it is important to watch what the people we love-- do as well as listen to what they say. If there is a huge difference between what they do (texting other girls) and what they say (all the "I love you's"), I always bet the real truth of the matter rests in what they do because talk is really, really cheap. I think it about time you took full responsibility for your own life. In addition, I think you and your boyfriend should take full responsibility for the two little children you have made and get into some counseling. But it will come down to maturity and committment. You both have an adult choice here. If you really want to be together, and you both want to support your children and be responsible for them, then he needs to grow up and be responsible. If he doesn't want to fully commit to you and enjoy the attentions of other woman, you need to seriously re-assess this relationship. If you want to save this relationship, then you had better learn to set some boundries, seek counseling and not put up with his acting out behaviours anymore. I wish you the best of luck and my heart goes out to you and your lovely children. Be strong and take care.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2006): If you tell him that you don't like him texting other girls and that this effects the trust...it is time to address any and all concerns with a couple's counselor.
There are sliding scale fees for most psycologists so look it up in your local yellow pages.
If he refuses to go, get some individual therapy so that you can have support and so you can sort out what you want in life and what you are prepared to do.
*hugs*
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A
female
reader, seenitdoneit +, writes (18 August 2006):
I'm sure he does know why, but he may think telling you would hurt you. Counselling may help you both work this out together. My guess is he has developed feelings for someone and is trying to suppress them but it is only a guess, there are lots of other things it could be for example he could be feeling closed in (hence the texts, it would make him feel like a single man) - 2 kids in a relationship of 3 years is pretty quick. Whatever the you need to know the truth and you may need a third party with you to get to the bottom of this.
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