A
female
age
36-40,
*H22
writes:Ive been with my boyfriend 9 months now, and I when we first got together things were more than perfect, i actually thought id found my soul mate! He made me feel like a Queen and our sex life was brilliant!! He even started talking about kids and marriage, which for me was a little scary at first because i'd never talked about anything like that before with anyone, but it just felt right!! He asked me to move in after about 4 months of being together and I did...people might think its too soon, but it just felt right for me and i wanted it!! But...in the last 1 month things have gone from fantastic to really bad! its like a switch has clicked in his head over night and things have just turned sour! He doesnt tell me he loves me like he used to, he is bothered about cuddling me in bed like before, he doesnt come to kiss me and weve hardly even had sex! Were arguing because of it but he says ''everythings fine, stop being a drama queen''....but i know everythings not fine!! I feel so low, ugly and like I want to cry all the time. It feels like I'm always putting the effort in to come onto him sexually and he uses the excuse he's too tired or he feels dirty because he hasnt showered! I just feel so unloved and lonely because of it all! Its started making me paranoid because i feel like if he's not giving me effection and love then who is he giving it to?!?! I know he's not cheating on me but i cant help thinking it! All im craving is his love and effection and thats all i want from him. Its only been 8 months weve been together and i just cant believe its turned out like this already!!....whats going on, is it just the honey moon period thats over? Does this happen to every couple and am i just being silly??! I dont want to split up with him, he's my life but I cant carry on like this! What do I do?!?!
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female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (19 January 2011):
 It was too soon for you to move in. You two have sped up the relationship, which usually results in the end speeding up too. People who fall in love fast fall out of love fast too. That's a life lesson you have just learned, sadly enough.
I'd talk to him about the affection and how it would make you feel better if you cuddled and had sex more often. See if he's open to that. If he's not, and he keeps giving you the cold shoulder, it's time to chalk this relationship as a loss.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2011): your in the reverse sitch to me - but mine a lt of is it to do with how im feeling and a bit of depression. has something like that happened with him? if so then all ican say is be ther, and give him time. if its not that then you can try to talk to him, but try not to attack and something that is even harder try not to get worked up and stressed.
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