A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I've currently been with my husband for 4 years (married Just over a year) and it seems we've hit a patch in our marriage.He goes out most weekends and is gone the whole weekend with his friends. Neither of us make the effort to spend time together any more as I have got tired of asking to do family days and he says he's too tired. He is angry and nasty at the flip of a switch. We don't really get intimate as he says he doesn't do romance. (which he never has, to be honest) I have a 5 year old from a previous relationship and would like to do things on weekends as a family but it never happens so I arrange things with mates and their children. He's currently getting over a gambling problem which he is doing ok with so wondering of this is making him stressed? The last time he gambled was around Valentine's day when I lent him money to pay bills and get me a present and he gambled it. That's when I knew I was getting to my limit with everything. What do I do?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (28 March 2015):
 It seems to me like he is detaching himself form the marriage and relationship.
To leave you and the child alone EVERY week-end so he can run around and have fun with his friends is NOT working on his gambling problem - it's been little OVER a month since he last gambled (as far as you know) MAYBE he is substituting the gambling for drinking or something else.
You two have ONLY been married for a year but I have to say, it sounds like it's broken and neither of you want to rock the boat by saying HEY we need to either FIX this or get a divorce.
I mean from YOUR side, why do you accept that he has time for friends but not you and a child? IF he MARRIED you knowing you had a child (and he did) - then the CHILD is PART of HIS family - YOU, HIM + child = FAMILY.
You write that you "lent" him money for bills... How so? Do you two not live together? and does he not work? How is your finances? Do you two keep separate finances ( which I GET if he IS gambling) - but why would he NEED to borrow money from you for bills?
I can't see what you get out of this, at all. He doesn't SEEM to want to be part of a family.
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