A
male
age
30-35,
*uitarFreak
writes:A guy in my girlfriends last period class is trying to break us up so that he can date her... He gave her a kiss on the cheek and was trying to get her to kiss back, but she wouldn't. He was telling her that I don't treat her right and that he would do a lot better. He tried more then once to kiss her, even after she said no. Now, my girlfriend insists that she wouldn't cheat on me and I believe her, but she says she's still going to be friends with this guy. She says hes a nice guy, but I don't get how she can be friends with someone like this, who doesn't respect that she says no and is obviously just interested in dating her. I don't see how someone this aggressive would not try again. I treat my girlfriend VERY well but we fight occasionally, so because of these fights (which are pretty tame to being with and always over the internet) some people seem to think I'm an a******, because they hear my girlfriend talking about her side of the argument. Any thoughtful comments on my situation would be appreciated. Oh, and do I have the right to be mad about this? She keeps telling me its just a tiny thing... I kinda doubt that tho.
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (27 May 2010):
 By the way, if you want to keep this girl, you should let this go, and TRUST her to deal with it appropriately. If you don't, you'll only be proving this guy's point about you. Don't give him ammunition to use against you.
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (27 May 2010):
Ok, after your response, you sound like a very jealous person. Do I think what she is doing is right, not necessarily, but it isn't too bad either. From the tone I get from you, this relationship is doomed. She is not willing to acknowledge your feelings on this matter, and you are not mature enough to deal with this in a reasonable nature. Good luck. I'd recommend looking elsewhere. You're too controlling for this girl, and she is not digging that.
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A
male
reader, GuitarFreak +, writes (27 May 2010):
GuitarFreak is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks for the answers! first off I don't think it is sexual harassment yet, because she didn't say no until after he kissed her on the cheek. If he tries it again then yes I think it will be... I was talking to my gf about it, and she says that if he tried it again she wouldn't tell anyone, not even me. shes doesn't even care that it counts as sexual harassment. She just says its not a big deal, its just a kiss on the cheek, its nothing. She thinks that just because she wont break up with me for him, that its ok. I'm pretty much at my limit, if it happened again I will definitely be having a discussion with this guy and I will have a very hard time being civil with him. Should i just ignore this like she wants me to? just forget about it and move on? She does things like this all the freakin time, like last time we had an argument, she was actually talking to her EX over the internet, about what he would do if he was still dating her and in our situation. like WTF? ... well she is actually a really nice girl and she doesn't do stuff like this that often but holy cow.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (27 May 2010):
q is right. I think she wants to be friends with this guy because he makes her feel pretty and wanted. It is nice to have people chasing after you. It doesn't happen very often to most people. Even if she is saying no, there are other things she could do to stop this behavior, filing a sexual harassment suit would be one. But alas, she doesn't. That's because she is basking in the attention she is getting. If she doesn't see why this bothers you, ask her how she would feel if another girl was kissing you and asking you out constantly. Her reaction is likely to reveal just what your relationship means to her.
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (27 May 2010):
 If the matter is as you state and your g/f was the target of unwanted and aggressive physical contact, I'd certainly say you have very valid reason to be at least miffed about it, yes. I'm inclined to suspect that it mustn't have been too terrible of an experience for her if she insists upon remaining friends with the guy, however (where's the sense in making friends with the problem?) I wonder if you're in full possession of the facts in this?
What you're describing is sexual harassment. Forcing physical contact, even if it's just a kiss, after having been refused IS a form of sexual harassment, in some places it constitutes minor/misdemeanor physical/sexual assault! So there's good reason for you, (and more so her!)to find this boy's actions justifiably offensive. I'm not suggesting that you go and angrily confront the guy, however. If he remains persistent, then she should make a complaint about his actions to the appropriate venue.
I have a strong belief in keeping one's dirty laundry at home; so perhaps you can politely suggest that your g/f respect your joint relationship and it's reasonable expectation of privacy involving personal matters-like the details of arguments- to remain between the two of you and not on advertised display for others o choose up sides. I think you have a few good reasons to be upset over these matters. How you choose to deal with them is completely another matter. Choose wisely and good luck!
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