A
male
age
26-29,
*oveismymiddlename96
writes:dear cupid, i had just went on a first date with this guy hes really sweet and really funny we get along great. he says hes very uncomfortable with his body, i told him he has a great body type and he asks me " are you sure?" and i said yes we start kissing and he stops and says are you sure i look ok and i said take your shirt off and when he did i notice he has a good body type the only thing is, hes hairy and when i saw the hair i didnt want him to feel bad but i said that he looked fine. after walking him to the train i realize that the hair was gonna bother me. how do i tell him without hurting his feeling?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2013): Just casually mention that you really like guys with NOT a whole lot of body hair, but you DO like his body type in general. Or maybe you might come to like hairy chest/legs? See how it goes. Just be kind and nice about it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2013): You've only been on one date. Don't get so personal.
I think you need to get to know him better before you start complaining. He just may not want to do anything about his body-hair; and decide your opinion doesn't matter. He's only 16, and can't be that much of a Sasquatch.
Learn to like variety. Maybe he likes being hairy. There are lots of great gay boys who do like hairy guys. I can think of worse things, like bad hygiene or bad breath. Hair removal is something you need to wait a little longer before bringing it up to someone, and embarrass them.
Wait until your third of forth date, and ask if he has ever though about shaving. You can do it for him. If he approves.
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (11 July 2013):
 Guys are generally cool about stuff like that. We're generally willing to compromise on the hair thing, as long as it's in normal places...
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A
female
reader, theres_always_a_loophole +, writes (11 July 2013):
 Tell him you like his body type, the only thing is you prefer less body hair. I don't think it would hurt his feelings that much, even if he is insecure about his body, because you have no problem with his body itself. It's just the hair you don't like, which can easily be removed. There's no point in throwing away what could be a good thing between you 2 over a little excess hair. Ask him nicely if he'll remove it. It's no different than us women shaving our legs and armpits.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 July 2013):
 you are 16/17 and I would hope he's about the same age.
today so many young people think that body hair is gross... they wax and shave and laser it all off.
it's normal to have body hair. Is he as hairy as an ape or are you reacting to a normal amount of body hair?
now I admit that some folks have A LOT of body hair and some of it bothers me... I do not like back hair on men or facial hair on women. But these things are easily fixed.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (11 July 2013):
Dear OP,
If I was you, I wouldn't tell him that he's too hairy for you. It could really hurt him and he already seems to be insecure about his body. In general, I am all for honesty.. but I make exceptions when it comes to this kind of situations.
Until now, you only had one date, so there is no commitment yet and he doesn't know you that well.
What matters is - would you give him a chance or is the body hair a complete no-go for you?
If you don't want to go on dating him, just tell him that. You don't need to tell the whole reason. If you want to stay close to the truth you can say, you just didn't feel a spark.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2013): I'm sorry to say it but I don't think there's any way to tell him it bothers you without hurting his feelings.
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