A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi, Just need some advice on what to do.I've had been in a long distance relationship for about four years. The problem is that my bf had never stopped talking with his ex nor had he talk her that he is in a relationship with me. They are not sleeping together, but he keeps calling her and going after her eventhough she does not want anything with him. They keep in contact and talk on the phone almost everyday. I had confronted him several times and he keeps dening it, and says that he has no feeling for her, and he denies talking to her. (I check his phone so I know he is lying).The point is that I am tired of all his lies and recently he wrote her an email begging her to write him back and asking her when would her phone be connected 'cause he desperately wanted to talk to her. Since this e-mail, i want to break out with him, but it is hard. What do you think? Am I right at breaking up with him? and how do i do it? We've known each other for 6 years and been in a realtionship for 4..but I can't trust him..Maybe you'll all think that he is just talking to his ex on the phone, but that is all it matter in our relationship...We also have a phone relationship, since I can only go to see him once a month... We were also planning to move in together by june, but how am I going to move in with someone who seems to be still attach to his ex?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (26 May 2008):
Moving in is a huge step and I wouldn't do it while you have this little trust.
It sounds like yes, he isn't over his ex and you might want to break up with him if he is not prepared to move on from her.
I've got nothing against people being friends with their Ex's but sending begging emails and lying to you about his contact with her is not on.
Tell him you will not put up with this any more and tell him to make his mind up about who he wants to be with. If he is not prepared to be honest and commit to you then you are better off with out him.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, kizzy +, writes (26 May 2008):
 you remind me of my sister she's 21. She and her sweetheart from 9th grade all the way to 12th grade broke up becuz she wanted to go to college and he didn't. That was in 2005 they still see each other go out on dates but she has already met someone in college too. She is so stuck over her ex that she don't even know which to choose her high school sweetheart or her boyfriend now. Both are confused right now so it is hard trying to love someone when they can't get over their past. The main reason why they don't want to get over their ex is mainly because they still have some sort of feeling for that person. I am not trying to say dump him and let that be that i am not that kind of person i am just saying think about it would you want to stay around with someone who thinks about their ex more than they should than you the person they are currently with?. Well i hope my message helps you in any way.
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A
female
reader, jinxx  +, writes (26 May 2008):
 He IS still attached to his ex, it's obvious, and you know it. Unless you feel up to playing second fiddle to this guy, you should definitely leave. Why stay with someone who doesn't show you the respect you deserve, when you could find someone who will? Sure, you've known each other for quite some time, but that makes it even more unsettling that he's unable to be honest with you. Tell him you know he's been lying, and that it doesn't matter anymore because it's over. Simple as that.
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