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female
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anonymous
writes: I have a problem. There's this guy I've known for about 4 years. We have been on and off for ages, usually when he has a girlfriend, but we've never slept together.Now, he's breaking up with his girlfriend and we've been flirting outrageously, saying were going to sleep together. I've wanted this for ages but now it's happening I don't know if I still want to. I'm seeing him on Sat and don't know whether to say something and let him down so we can still be mates or just go through with it and hope this is just nerves? Please help.
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male
reader, harshbutfair  +, writes (21 February 2006):
 Thanks sweetie. Let us know how you get on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks to evryone, you've been a big help, especially harshbutfair, you really made me see him for what he is....an arrogant chap. Ive decided to wait until sat before i say anything, if it feels right, ill do it, if it doesnt i wont, simple as...thank you very much everyone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2006): You say no. Your flirting behaviours with each other got out of control. It seems that you're concerned about getting involved with this guy in a way you might not be ready to deal with yet. First, he has made it very clear that he is 'only' interested in having sex with you. If you are hoping for something more to come from this-think again. No decent guy would do this and no girl with self-respect would allow a guy to do this. You should really take the time to think about what it is you want from him. If you don't want to have a relationship where he uses you for sex, you might want to re-evaluate putting yourself in a situation like you describe. My guess is that if you put yourself in a situation like you describe, you could end up fighting him off and you may not be successful. The best thing to do if you're not ready for the kind of sexual involvement wants, is to simply tell him so. Please make sure, however, that you are clear and assertive; Don't let yourself be talked into anything you don't feel comfortable doing. No decent guy should ever 'expect and pressure' you into a situation you are uncomfortable with. Remember, what you do will be based on what you value in yourself and your own self control. Your feelings and relunctance are a big indicator, that you know you could likely come away from this-feeling hurt and being used 'goods' because this guy is only attracted to you because of your promise of sex. So it's a clearcut choice here...give up your self-worth to please him or..say NO and not give a hoot what this he thinks. Just tell him you've changed your mind. Stand your ground and in the future..stop flirting outrageously with the guys. It's just getting you in trouble. Hold out for a nice guy who cherishes and loves you. Take care
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male
reader, harshbutfair +, writes (20 February 2006):
Do whatever feels right. One observation: He sounds like an arrogant chap. Maybe this is a good thing, maybe not.
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female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (19 February 2006):
 If you're unsure you have to say no!!! Sometimes the voices in our head do speak sense and tell us what we should really do or not do. I understand it can be fun, flirting and messing around, but take it slow. You don't want to get used or ruin a friendship.Good luck
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female
reader, ays21 +, writes (19 February 2006):
i don't think you should sleep with him because it sounds like you are close friends but then again that how most relionships starts but remember this if you fall out of love you could lose your friendship to and is friendship worth losing over love
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