A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, I’m worried about my boyf for the last few days… we’re together over a year and everything is great with us. We have a healthy relationship in every way and love spending time together, going away on w/ends and normal things like that…Last week I suggested goin away for a w/end away as we hadn’t gone away in a while and he said why don’t I ask one of my other friends instead!?! I was quiet shocked and baffled by his response and didn’t know what to say so I just ended the phone call saying I had to go! At the w/end when I was up in his house he never even mentioned it to me! Yest then after dinner we went for a drive and done some shopping which is normal… But last nite when we got home and we were sitting watching tv I just remarked that he was very quiet all day – all w/end really if I’m honest and asked was everything ok. He just said he was tired and to sit on the other chair – away from him. That hurt me cos we always cuddle up on the couch watching tv but he was just soooooooo distant and not affectionate that its started to worry me. Even last nite when we went to bed he just gave me a kiss and said good nite and turned his back to me!!! It was early enough when we went to bed but he was pretending to be alseep cos it took me hours to go asleep afterwards…He won’t talk to me and I can’t take any more of this silent and un affectionate side of him! He’s like another person that I don’t know!! What do you think I should do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (26 February 2007):
 Has something recently happend between the two of you ? A row, a slight disagreement over something silly... May have been a couple of weeks ago, that meant nothing and hes harboured it ?
He could be bored with the same routine.. Does he have any friends that he can spend time with seperately, it could be that too much of a good thing can become a bad thing!
He could be cheating, he could be stressed from work or feeling unwell there may be somethign hes frightened to tell you. Has he started taking drugs, started drinking ? Anything out of the ordinary ?
It could be any number of things, and its not fair of him to act this way towards you... He has to tell you why the sudden change.
You need to sit him down and tell him exactly how you are feeling... let him know that whatever it is he can talk to you... You need to behave as normal as if you give off bad vibes too, it will only make the situation worse.. But do talk to him, but lovingly and caringly, there could be something thats triggered this and he feels he cant talk to you.
He at least owes you an explanation as to why hes suddenly changed, if he refuses to talk then you have no alternative than to call his bluff and suggest its not working to maybe get a reaction.. but dont use that until you have at least tried to talk to him, and showed that you really want to get to the bottom of it. Some guys that are looking for an easy way out of a relationship will become distant and so on, so that you get fed up with them and dump them as they havent the guts to do it... I dont know if this is the case here, you will just have to have it out with him. But dont be accusing or harsh, be sympathetic, it could be almost anything thats up with him and he could be feeling embarrased by it.. for example im guessing if you go away for the weekend it would involve sex, maybe its that that he is avoiding for some reason ? Could be medical, could be guilt... some guys really are that closed that its so hard to get through, so show a caring attitude and maybe he will open up, might take some probing as men dont like to air problems, but there is something a miss and for both your sakes you need to be able to iron this out.
Perhaps do this at a time when you both know that there isnt alot on and you wont get an interruption.
Take care and I hope it works out for you.
x x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2007): I think the relationship may have ran its course, but he hasn't the guts to tell you that. Try and talk to him about it and get him to be open and honest about how he feels about you/relationship rather than behaving in the way that he has.
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