A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:"OP's Own title"I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 months because I had found out that he is still keeping his old profile in an internet dating site where we met. And the worst part he viewed one of my "fake" profiles that i created to caught him. It really sends me off. I confronted him and he said he's not writing to anyone, just viewing.. still for me that is a sign of cheating, and being disrespectful especially that we had decided that we will be exclusive and commited. I had deleted my profile because thats what we agreed on. A month ago I noticed my boyfriend losing interest on us. he seems cold, un-affectionate, and I feel some red flags that he is cheating on me. May not be physically but emotionally. I also find out that he still keep his profile in the dating site-- although he doesnt really talk to anyone. But this just so humiliating and rude of him. I said that he is probably looking and still fishing while still having me around as a back-up and since i dont want to be in that situation I broke up no matter how painful it will be. I guess I need to love and respect myself so that he may know that I wont take any crap from any man. Did I make the right decision or am I too harsh? I miss him so much and he even apologised and said that I can delete his profile to show me that he's intention is not to look around but to simply out of curiosity and he's bored.. I didnt believe i guess I am being self protected.. anyone please help! thank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2010): right now he's I viewed his profile and its still up but he hasnt gone back since the day that i caught and confronted him. I broke up with him from our last conversation and already said goodbye but he never said goodbye back-- I can sense he is choking up on the other line. I am hurting because I love him and I miss him part of me wants to give him another chance, but then again, another side of me wants to just let go and move on because he cannot be trusted and he just humiliate me.... thanks to everyone who responded to my question..
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): Hello everyone.. thanks so much for the response; very insightful. To "sunnycomet" he said the reason why he is losing interest on us is because I dont trust him; that I was pusshing him away; but then again my intution is very strong that he is still have a profile on that dating site and I was right-- so I believe that creating a "fake" profile is the right thing to do for it totally proved that I was not just imagining things because he hasnt really taken down his profile we he promised that he will. I would like to give him a second chance but, I just dont trust him anymore not to create another one in case I take him back. Oh and one more thing he has another profile on a different dating site. i WAS ABLE TO GET access of this profile. He doesnt really commmunicated with anybody on this one--because theres no activities going on and its hidden. But see! thats one thing that bothers me about him-- he seems to have profiles on every site. it just makes me sick and disappointed.
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (26 May 2010):
 I'm glad you are looking out for yourself and that is a good thing. Do not take any crap from anyone.
People do make mistakes and if he is willing to fix the mistake I think he should have a second change. He did say you could delete his profile which means he wants you and you are not just a back-up.
There is something though that is bothering me. "A month ago I noticed my boyfriend losing interest on us. he seems cold, un-affectionate, and I feel some red flags that he is cheating on me. "
Why did he behavior change towards you? You need to confront him and fix this if you decide to forgive him.
Good Luck! If you ever want to talk for free to contact me!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): Hello,
I'm on the fence with this one. I can understand you being hurt, and feeling as though he's out looking and perhaps not satisfied with you. I'm unsure breaking up with him was the right decision though.
You created a secret profile to catch him, I disagree going to those lengths.
If he's willing to compromise, and you obviously have feelings for him you should try again.
However, what will he do once he's bored again? Maybe create a new profile that you're not aware of. If he's in a relationship with you make it clear he doesn't need to be on dating sites at all.
Good luck
;D
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A
male
reader, loonman4 +, writes (26 May 2010):
I think it was a very smart decision to get out. If he still has his profile up, who knows how many other women he will meet? That is one of the main reasons that I hate dating websites.
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