A
female
age
30-35,
*RYSTLE
writes:I've been with my bf for a little over 3 years. Things have always been pretty good Recently, he's gotten in touch with his friends from back home. Being the cool gf I am, I let him hang out with his friends. (even though he made me give up mine) the thing is, they live far. AND what's really bothering me is that he's starting to spend all his time with them. And when its our time to hang out, hell take me over there with him. I should also mention his friends all drink are unemployed and are all single. (all their gf's have recently left them I wonder why) he's been ignoring me for the past month. I confronted him (nicely) and he freaked out and called me controlling. I didn't even tell him to stop Just to spend a little more time with me. I feel like this is putting a strain on our relationship. What can I say to him? I don't wanna loose what we have but I'm tiered of putting up with all this. Any advice will be greatly appreciated Reply to this Question
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female
reader, KRYSTLE +, writes (15 July 2009):
KRYSTLE is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell, I think you guys jus didn't understand because it was kind of hard to explain because I didn't want to make the story too long.
Like I said things have always been good, I haven't been in a horrible relationship. I am in no way trying to change him, I'm not sure where you where you got that from... Its not like I've been with some "bad boy" or a**hole and I'm trying to "change him".
A
male
reader, holikdad +, writes (15 July 2009):
Here is why you received the advice you did.Normally I would have suggested that you talk to him, but you've already said that you tried that nicely and he freaked out and called you controlling. So it doesn't sound like anything you say is going to make a difference on his behavior and his willingness to put his guy friends above your feelings.So if this is the kind of relationship that you want then good luck to you. But from experience I can tell you that this will continue to wear you down until eventually you'll just get tired and dump him, or he'll dump you, whichever comes first.There isn't a magic potion that you can use or just the right words that you can say that will make someone change their nature. The only thing you can do is move on and find someone who will respect your needs and not leave you alone all the time, but the choice is ultimately yours.
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A
female
reader, KRYSTLE +, writes (14 July 2009):
KRYSTLE is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFirst of, sorry I never replied, my internet hasn't been working for the last couple of days.
With that being said, let me just make it clear that I needed advice on how to "mend it not end it". Things have always been good, its not like I've been neglected in a horrible relationship the last couple of yrs. I don't want to throw what we have away over something so little that can easily be fixed.
Now, in case things do get horrible, ill keep in mind what you said. That's not advice ill be taking anytime soon though, but thanks for trying to help.
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A
female
reader, KRYSTLE +, writes (8 July 2009):
KRYSTLE is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell thanks for the advice so far. Baby duck, I don't know if I didn't make myself clear, the problem isn't he's hanging out with his friends, its ALL the time he spends with them and that he's putting them before me.The girls? all my 19 and 20 year old friends are no diff. By senior year, most of them had gotten pregnant. The ones that hadn't, did the first year out of high school. There is a couple that didn't get pregnant either because they broke up or their bf's went to jail. Those girls are unemployed are drunk do drugs and are scandalous. (not people I wanna be around anymore)
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A
male
reader, holikdad +, writes (8 July 2009):
Unfortunately I have a guess, but you're not going to like it.
I did something similar to a girlfriend of mine many many years ago. The problem was I wanted to break up with her but didn't have the guts to do it to her face. So I was pushing her away by never spending any time with her. It worked too, she got really mad after a couple of months and broke up with me.
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