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*wedeace
writes: Hi everyone!I REALLY need some advice and hope someone (or a lot of people) can really help me on this one. It's kinda long....Well, here goes.... I work in a computer lab facility at a college, and I just began noticing this student. I've been noticing him all semester and only began *wanting* to get him to notice me and approach him last week. I see him once a week on Fridays, and I have attempted to talk with him BOTH Fridays (this past and the one before it). I am quiet and reserved myself, and he seems like it too because he doesn't really talk with his classmates and just concentrates on his lectures and assignments. From that, I gather he is quiet. I discreetly found out his name and a little about his personality through his computer teacher, and she's described him as being "so quiet and shy and does really great graphics work." I just can't help but to keep looking at him through the door's window and just wander inside the computer classroom and straighten up and "fix" computers next to him. Finally, last Friday I decided to try and converse with him. I guess I asked close-ended sentences because he chuckled a bit and just answered basically "yes" and "no" answers. Argh! This past Friday, I tried smiling, greeting him as he arrived to class, and chit-chatting right before he left class, but again - he was responding little and chuckling. I get the impression all that chuckling was done out of nervousness. From that, he DOES seem quiet and shy.... I understand dates are to be quiet mutual (the attraction thing), but what if I'd like to attempt to go up to him and ask if he'd like to have lunch or have juice/coffee next Friday? I hope he isn't taken, but it's difficult to find out in the computer labs until I *actually* talk with him during that supposed outing. And I do not want to wait until he comes to me because, 1) that is a probability it would NEVER happen if I just sit and wait, 2) next Friday is THE end of the semester and am not sure if he'll take summer classes *bites nails out of nervousness*, 3) What if he's not interested in me, 4) he's already taken, or 4) he's TOO darn shy, in general! I asked what classes he's taking in the summer, and he said, "Oh, I haven't decided yet." Does that mean he really hasn't or just said that because he's shy, or I talked about this with a couple of co-worker friends, and they've told me, "Just go and ask him! What do you have to lose?" That is getting me pumped.....So, what do I do? Shall I ask him THIS Friday - TOMORROW? It's my absolute LAST day... that is, if he's NOT taking summer classes. But I don't know...Any advice? QUESTION: Any other girls have "asking out guys" stories to share? OR, does any guy have "girls asked me out" stories to share? I want to read more to get more ideas.... Thanks!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2006): Just start a conversation with him and if he is friendly ask him what he likes to do.
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reader, Kmoney18 +, writes (22 April 2005):
Well, it sounds like you have a dilema on your hands. Being that I am a guy, and I somewhat know how we think, and yes I am shy as well. In my past experiences I have lost out on some pretty good girls becuase I was to shy to ask them, when let alone they liked me too. From a guys point of view, we get pretty shy about asking a girl out especially when we think they have interest in us as well. I think it would be best if you had asked him to lunch, or coffee just as you said. I agree with your co-workers on this one, you really dont have much to lose, and the worst thing that could happen is him saying no, you can still be friends.This happend to me a while back, I had interest in a girl, she had interest in me, however niether one of us had really taken the step of asking one another out, so I decided that I would go ahead and just ask her to go to lunch with me, she said yes and everything started from there.But scince you only have little time to make the move, and it doesnt look like he is going to, I would ask him, I think your co-workers gave you the best advice possible in your situation.Good luck!
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reader, Last Kiss +, writes (22 April 2005):
Before I answer your question ask these questions to yourself: Is there any indication that he likes you? For example like always looking or smiling at you? If he did smile or look at you then there is a possibility that he likes you. My advice is the same as your friends 'Just go & ask him!'. He seems really shy & quiet so you really have to plan some questions where he needs to answer more than a 'yes' or 'no'. Do your 'homework' on what to ask & have 'ready-made questions' to follow up if he answers 'yes or no' which is very likely.You are in a situation where time is not on your side & you don't know whether you'll be seeing him again. So you have got to make the move. Like your friends said 'What do you have to lose?'. You're not going to lose something which you never had! If everything works out fine after you asked him then enjoy yourself. If you didn't get the answer you were expecting then move on. Don't waste your time on him. Always remember that you'll meet someone else in the future. Always! I've just been in this situation where a girl seems interested in me but I was too shy. I waited & waited for the right moment to ask her but then it was a little too late. By the time I asked her she had moved on. I've let my opportunity slipped away. I was really disappointed with myself (still am!) & I'm in the 'process of moving on'. If you never ask you never know! In my humble opinion only move on after you found out the truth i.e. if the person you're interested isn't interested. I hope everything will be OK for you. Good luck mate! You really need it! If you need anymore help just post another question & we'll try to help you out.
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