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age
36-40,
*
writes: Hello,I've been with my boyfriend for about three years and have been engaged for seven months. I just started living with him in August and I'm (obviously) starting to notice problems in our relationship.He's not very understanding when I tell him about my problems. Last time I talked to him about something that was bugging me was thanksgiving (November) and he completely ignored me and started to watch football. Later, I tried to address it again (it was really bothering me, it wasn't something trivial) and he blew up in my face. After that experience, I've just decided to bottle up my feelings, put on a happy face, and have meltdowns in the shower (aka what I did yesterday). He, however, feels like it's okay to unload on me about his work problems every day. I don't mind that he does that, I feel like he should have an understanding ear to listen. But that's not the problem.There are times where he's just pissed off and he's cold and rude to me for no reason. I'm thinking he's annoyed or preoccupied with something, but when I ask him if there's something wrong, he just shrugs me off and says everything is okay. I don't know how to approach him after he shuts me down like that. Then, to make matters worse, I get into a bad mood and we start playing passive aggressive games with each other. It's sad to think that the best conversation I had yesterday was with the AAA guy who was fixing my battery and not with my fiance. So I guess my question is: how do I get him to see that he hurts me by 1) not letting me express one negative feeling, and 2) being cold to me for no apparent reason? Or am I just totally wrong and totally sensitive?!
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (10 January 2011):
 No you are unhappy and if you are engaged to be married these issues need to be solved before you even think about marrying this man. The only thing that can be done is talk to him. You need to be open and honest and say to him that it hurts you when he brushes you off when you are trying to talk to him about something that is bothering you and that it has led you to bottle things up and making you unhappy, tell him you love him and want to have a future with him but that he needs to be there for you like you are there for him. Also explain to him that he always has you to talk to if he is bottling things up. Tell him if you are both going to be together for the rest of your lives then he and you need to always be open and honest with each other.
Goodluck.
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