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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I really need some advice on my relationship. I have been seeing a married man who is twice my age for 18 months and we are totally in love with each other, however I always told him I did not want anything serious with him, because of his stage in life. He has separated from his wife over 6 months ago at which point he said he would like to have a more serious relationship with me. I know what I did was wrong, however I urge you not to judge until you have walked in my shoes- we fell in love when we were friends and could not help our feelings. I have always wanted a man like him however my big problem is that I have always wanted children (it is something I have been thinking about a lot lately) and he already has 3 and does not want any more. He is putting pressure on me again to make a serious go of our relationship and I really don't know what to do. As I said we are in love and totally adore each other, however I have learnt to be hard when it comes to love from some bad past experiences. I really don't know what to do for the best- do I go with my heart and give it a go or do I go with my head and move on? I'm hoping I can get an outside and unbiased opinion.
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female
reader, Nicole Cast  +, writes (21 October 2008):
I think u should move on, your still young and I know you should have your family your own. Your LOVE with him is always there BUT still you should find your self out to be with a GUY who will be yours forever.
Wer in similar situation, But my fiance want to have a baby and I wanted too, so everything will goes the way both of us want.
I love you baby.
A
male
reader, SamuraiRick  +, writes (14 November 2007):
 I will give you some straight non-judgemental advice. The real issue here is not that he's married. Although that is a pretty big stumbling block in you having a truly serious relationship, lets just leave that asside. The real problem for you is that you want to have children and he doesnt. Simple as that. Lets just say that he does get divorced and you eventually marry, how do you think your differnces on children will be resolved? I think the matter of children is a serious breaking point. You will be happy with him for a while because you do love him and have a strong bond, but your desire to have children will never go away. Your love for him will dwindle the more you ask him to have children and he continues to resist you. If you are prepared to have that serious relaionship with him than you have to be solid in your deciosion about children, and be totally honest with yourself. You cannot make this man desire children the way you do, and if you if you want your relationship with him you have to give in to his wishes for no children, OR you have to convince him to have children. But reason with him, do not force him, and do not go off the pill to to force the issue. If you have a baby without his consent, be prepared for him to reject you. Im just being dead honest with you.
SO in short Im telling you you have to have a serious discussion about children with him. After that you will know...and truly if you desire to have children that's just not someting thats going to go away. YOu have to deal with that and face it. This man is already telling you he doesnt want chidren. If you can't change his mind you have to make the choice to move on. Don't let his marriage cloud the issue. Its all about the children....
I wish you well.
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A
male
reader, perky  +, writes (3 January 2007):
 well i think u am in a hard place but i can c that u should go with ur heart coz ur head can make u do stupid things as u probs already know so i think if he doesnt want anymore kids and u want sum then he has got 3 wont they do coz im sure they will take to would u wanna take them in and treat them like ur own or maybe after a while he will cum round talk to him first c how he feels c if he has changed his mind and tell him wat u have just told us im sure he wouls understand but if u find that u cant cope with his 3 kids and u want ur own not his ex wifes and he still doesnt want any well maybe i think u shoul dmove on chick it will ne hard and will hurt but u got to do wat u got to do ay ya ope thsi helps u out let me know how u get on with it gd luck xx
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