A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been good friends with a guy for a number of years and about a year ago we both found out that we were attracted to each other. We became fwb as neither of us were in a position to have a relationship, even though I really would have liked one with him. He is now seeing someone but still wants me. He is a really good guy, has good morals and is kind and caring so I don't really understand what is happening Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 August 2015):
 Your best response is to get yourself out pronto from the mess you ended up into .
Big initial mistake, accepting an FWB when what you really wanted was totally something else. FWB only work for people who just want casual fun , without any expectations, and any deep or lasting attachement.
Now you have found out that the reason why he offered you an FWB was not because he could not give you something different- it was just because he did not WANT to. He's got you pegged as " recreational only " and that's what you'll get from him , even if things should not work with this lady.
I don't know how it all started, whether you were a victim of your own wishful thinking, and he never had said,promised or shown that you were going to have, in the right conditions , a serious relationship , you just had ASSUMED it (assumptions are dangerous stuff ) .Or, if he was a real cad and player who put on a good guy act but bamboozled you into accepting a casual arrangement by his bullshit and false promises.
Either way, now the end result is that you do not get what you really want ,and you are in a situation that leaves you upset, frazzled and humiliated.
Ergo, the only sensible solution is : put a final stop to all this. YOU have to do it, because if you expect that he voluntarily gives up to keeping his cake and eating it too, you risk waiting for a long,looooong time.
A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (3 August 2015):
 Aw hun, you left yourself wide open and vulnerable from the very start. You agreed to a FWB but wanted a relationship. He didn't. That right there was/is the problem. A FWB relationship only works when BOTH people just want sex, and both are free to see others and do whatever they want. Going into a FWB with feelings and wanting more is asking for heartbreak.
End it. He is using you as a sidepiece, a back up, old reliable, whatever you want to call it. He doesn't return your feelings of wanting more. It unlikely he ever will.
It isn't that you don't understand what is happening..you don't want to understand what is happening. You get it, but it hurts so you are trying to ignore what the deal really is. He doesn't care enough to make you his lady, but you're good enough for when no one else is around.
Find a man who wants to make you his number one lady. You'll be much happier. I wish you all the best. Don't let someone make you feel bad about yourself when you haven't done anything wrong. You just care and he doesn't. Love yourself enough to walk away.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2015): "He is a really good guy, has good morals and is kind and caring so I don't really understand what is happening"
You are deluding yourself. He is no such thing. He's a player who has you for sex on the side, and someone who really means something to him. He has someone to stroke his ego, and he'll never get bored with using the same vagina.
Shake it off, and move on.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 August 2015):
 He doesn't have "good morals" if he wants to DATE someone else, but continue to have sex with you. THAT is not having "good morals".
When you two first met and knew neither of you were in a position to HAVE a relationship it turned into a FWB, him because sex would be available and uncomplicated and I think... you made the classical woman FWB mistake, by thinking you could sleep your way into his heart. THAT rarely works.
NOW he knows you still have feelings for him and he WANTS to take advantage of that.
IF this man ACTUALLY gave a fly's fart about you... He would not be dating another woman. That is not being kind and caring.. to EITHER of you women.
I'd cut him off. Buh-bye
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (2 August 2015):
 "Has good morals"????.... I don't think so.....
YOU, Dear girl, are an available - and willing - pussy... and he (now) has NO incentive to be anything more to you, than a convenient dick to penetrate you.....
WHY do you women not understand this???????
Good luck...
...............................
A
female
reader, Slippers  +, writes (2 August 2015):
Sorry sweetie but if he had the morals you think he has he wouldn't be wanting his cake and to eat it too
I would draw a line under this as he easily could have waited for you ( if you were attached) and not went into another relationship .
I would put distant between you both until your heart stops ruling your head . Take care sweetie
...............................
|
