A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship for about 8 months i met him thru an online dating site.... we had an immediate connection, things were really really great.... now hes saying he needs time 2 get his mind straight... but im not sure if its about our relationship or the fact of he has other issues in his life hes trying 2 sort out... but im really miserable not bieng with him or talking 2 him... I need to know what to do.. how much time do I give him... whats this mean? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2010): ~SECURITY, HONESTY & TRUST~
Doubting another's honesty, stems from an insecurity as a consequence of a breech of trust. Trust that your boyfriend's decision is honest void of intent to deceive you. This is his first time you have experienced this decision from him. Be secure in him, as he has yet to prove otherwise.
~One man's crime is not the burden of another man's mind or time~
Respect your boyfriend. Allow him to partake of his personal quality time.
You are part of your boyfriend's life..NOT his life.
God Bless~
A
female
reader, Bella555 +, writes (30 November 2010):
Hi,
For both your sakes, I hope he's being honest with you, and he really needs a bit of time to sort out his head. There are some guys who really have too much on their plate and must slow or pause other aspects of their lives in order to get through what's bogging them down. That move can save a relationship from ruin. More often, though, a guy who wants to stay around will find the time to make his relationship work, i.e. staying in contact with his significant other, doing things with her, you know, the expected framework of romantic involvement. Perhaps it's time for some clarification from your boyfriend.
I made the mistake of waiting in earnest for a man who "needed time." Turned out it was a coward's way out of our relationship, and he pursued others during the time he supposedly needed to heal from pain he harbored from his life previous to our relationship. I've since lost him, and I wish he'd been respectful and kind enough to just let me go if that what what he'd wanted. To be fair, I could have walked too, but I was insanely in love. He baited and teased me for ages, implying regularly that there *might* be hope for us. I was a fool.
You don't have to be. Find out what's going on, if you can. If he legitimately needs space to work things out for himself, then give it to him in good faith. Sadly, though, it's often an indefinite way of ending a relationship that causes more damage in the long run.
I hope I'm wrong about the potentially negative side of my response for you, and you guys work things out. Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, pixiegirls +, writes (30 November 2010):
 Have you met face-to-face yet? Things can seem great, if not perfect sometimes with people we might meet through an online dating site. It can be very easy to talk to someone through emails and texts, because we haven’t fully put ourselves out there. Was a relationship between the two of you being discussed that he is saying he needs time to get is mind straight? Has he asked that communication between the two of you stop for a while? You didn’t specify what exactly the situation is. It is difficult to really answer your question without more details.
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