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female
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anonymous
writes: My fiancee keeps making excuses as to why he want sleep with me, but I then catch him out playing with himself whilst watching webcam clips of naked women on the net I have tried telling him that it hurts that he is doing that but want sleep with me but he still does it can anyone give me some advice or explain why he is doing it?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2006): I'm having the same problem... I have no advice but I wanted to let you know you are not alone!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2006): It is clear you have fallen for a man who is all about the "me" and not the "we".
You have told him how you feel and he has decided to ignore it and still do what will make him "happy".
He has an addiction and it is eroding away your trust in him and faith in him. This in turn will erode away your love for him.
Tell him this.
Ask to seek some couple's counselling.
In the end, is it worth it to be with someone who can chose his own selfish sexual urges over loving and respecting you?
Porn is a destructive force that tears families apart, marriages apart, and feeds the lustful needs of rapists, pedophiles, and promotes an unhealthy view of what should occure between a man and woman. Nowhere does it teach respect, love, reverence, tenderness, self worth.
Men can obstain and chose to temper their lustful needs so making excuses of it being "healthy" is weak at best.
You have a right to feel betrayed, hurt, and angry at his lack of self restraint, and self control. This does not show he has a good and strong character and that you can trust and rely on him.
Make a choice. Be strong.
*hugs*
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A
female
reader, camille  +, writes (8 August 2006):
 If you two had an active sex life and he was showing interest in you, it wouldn't be so bad, but this behaviour is totally unacceptable in a relationship and the lack of respect should jolt you into making a big decision. Why be with a man who is obviously experiencing some problem in the physical department? He gets his kicks from masturbating to porn rather than being intimate with you......er......find someone else.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2006): Contrary to what the last poster stated.....watching porn IS ABNORMAL. it is a sign of complete disrespect for ALL women and himself. It shows immaturity. Both men and women have been brainwashed to think it is normal. Its not, its unacceptable and you deserve better/ Show him the door and find a real man.. Dont you want a man who is ONLY interested in seeing you naked body????for me Id rather have no man than one whos interested in checking out other chicks naked.
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (8 August 2006):
 I think what this man is doing is very disrespectful to you and you need to sort this out. I'm not saying that watching the porn is abnormal, lots of men do this, even when they have a very full sex life. But he's ignoring you and making you feel bad and he needs to know this.
Have a chat with him, tell him how this is making you feel. Tell him you don't mind him having his freedom but he can't just replace you with some stupid videos on the net! If he does not agree that this is wrong and he needs to stop it, then you have to think whether or not this man is for you anymore.
If he can't see how this could make you feel bad, or can see and just doesn't care, then you need to think long and hard about whether he is actually the one you want to be with. If he is, then you have to work on this but I would say there must be someone out there who thinks you're a princess and wouldn't rather do anything than make love to you.
Good luck and I hope you make the right decision.
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