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female
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anonymous
writes: Why does my boyfriend love his bike more than me?I have recently got together with a long term friend. We have known each other for sometime but have only recently realised our feelings for each other. I have always known that he is really serious about his cycling, but since we have got together I have felt that the bike comes before me. We don't go out for month during the raceseason as he says he needs his sleep and can not drink. I understand that he has his own hobbies and that he needs his own time but even when he is with me he often talks about cycling. One time near exams (he is a medical student) he turned up with lots of books. I assumed they were text books for revision, but it turned out that they were cycling theory books, and he spent the evening absorbed by saddle angles and training regimes.I could even put up with this but now he has pulled out of out university's summer ball, not because he has a race on the same day but because he has a race 2 days after it, and he is leaving a romantic weekend in the Yorkshire dales a day early.Should I get out of this relationship, as I really cannot handle being the 'third wheel'. He is the perfect boyfriend in most other respects, but I just feel he should spend a bit less time riding his bike and a bit more time riding me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2006): ++This guy would bore me stupid++
Haha, that's awesome. 8]
A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (18 May 2006):
 This guy would bore me stupid...im sorry but he is definitely,putting his cycling 1st.There is nothing wrong in having a hobbie but he has gone too far with this.You will have to have a heart to heart talk with him and compromise on what you want....if he doesn't meet you half way,or refuses to discuss this then im afraid you would be better off without him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2006): 7This is creepy almost. Ms. Anon, you've given me insight! Not that I go to those lengths, but yes.
Anyway, you should try to talk to him about this problem. He is competitive and takes his cycling very seriously. However, the least he could do is take you out at least once a week. It won't hurt his cycling/resting if he spends 3 or 4 hours of the week out with you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2006): I can really sympathise with what you are going through.Im in the same boat myself except our relationship is dominated by football.It got to the point where he gave me a schedue of when football is on which was most nights and it was up to me if i wanted to see him that night.I use to go and see him and sit through the football but it had got to the point where i had to put my foot down and confronted him with it.I told him straight what is going to be less football or less of me,he said pardon i said your choice i dont expect you to give up football completly but at the sametime i feel im coming second best to it so its your choice.Since then i have been lucky he still gets to watch his football but at the same time we are having quality time together as he has cut down what he watches.I guess i was lucky he was willing to compromise.Hopefully your guy will do the same if not think twice about what you want in a relationship one which is being dominated by your partner and his hobby which in turn is making you unhappy,Or are you willing to put up with it? good luck :-)
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