A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm almost 18 years old and my boyfriend is almost 19. My boyfriend and I started dating online about a year ago, and we finally met this month and it was great. He's an amazing person and we're very very much alike, and very very much in love. However, he limps due to birth complications and I think that lowers his self-esteem and he's pretty possessive or controlling. He's always been this way online and is the same way in reality too. It doesn't bother me - I'm just as possessive and we both are really jealous. We don't have a problem with not talking to the opposite sex and well, we don't find the need to, either. We understand each other when we're in situations like that and it hasn't really caused any problems in our relationship. The reason why I'm writing this is because I love him very much and I want to know if this is unhealthy and could be unhealthy in the future. Should we change? I know he couldn't and it'd take me yonks to... I just want to make sure we're going in the right direction and aren't making things harder for us in the future.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): When you first meet someone they seem wonderful but then you start to see their faults. You've already seen what his are and suspect that it's unhealthy on both sides.
Try and have a think about why you are so possessive and jealous. Did someone betray you in the past? Talk to him about it and why he is possessive. Maybe you can get a better understanding of each other. But in a trusting relationship you should be able to talk to other people without one of you getting jealous.
A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (21 May 2008):
 You can live in a bubble and not talk to the opposite sex, thats unrealistic. Relationships should be based on trust, how can you trust each other if you are constantly worrying about all this stuff. What would happen if you HAD to talk to a guy and he found out?? This is not a healthy relationship so you need to sort this out now because I think it will worsen over time - what next you have to choose a checkout with a female on it, insist on female doctors, bank clerks, cab drivers, teachers???? You are too young to be controlled in this way x
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (21 May 2008):
 Hi
Um, its not healthy. You dont talk to people of the oposite sex? How is that going to work then. Thats going to be near on impossible to pull off as time goes on. And why do you need to? If you trust each other, you can talk to who you like, you could be in a room full of naked people and not touch them. No trust, doomed relationship.
Sounds like you both need to look into ways to get your self asteems higher.
C xxxxxx
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