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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi please help, my boyfriend of nearly two years has said he's off on a lads holiday with all his mates next summer. what bothers me is the fact they're all single! i tried to explain how i thought this was wrong to do while in a relationship, as the whole point of their holiday is to get drunk and sleep around, but he insisted he loves me but is going no matter what, and i obviously don't trust him. to be honest i don't trust any man in that situation and i don't know how i can cope with this. i feel over-run by jealousy, but should i?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2007): hi im exactly the same my boyfriend is going away on a lads holiday next summer , how old r u?
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female
reader, Lolly3 +, writes (4 December 2006):
I am the same as you, I get funny if my fella goes out for a night!! You have to trust him and know that he loves you and wont do anything he shouldnt. I have had to learn this and it has taken 3 years!!
Just make loads of plans with the girls while he is away and you wont even notice he has gone!!
Trust me, you are worrying about nothing. He will probably miss you more then you miss him!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2006): I wonder why you don't trust him? Surely after being together two years, you know him fairly well. Do you really believe deep down that he might be unfaithful to you?
I think you need to examine why you are feeling this way - just reverse the situation in your mind. If it was you going away on holiday with a group of women who had sun, sea and sex on their minds would you be unfaithful?
Maybe you don't feel secure in your relationship; but that's not going to go away if he suddenly decides to give in to you and not go. I think you should examine your motives and suspicions, and decide what's REALLY bothering you. Maybe it's something you can work on together, or maybe you aren't meant to be together at all.
I know that you'd just like an easy solution to make the jealous feelings go away, but you're feeling so bad already and he hasn't gone anywhere yet! Be honest with yourself, and listen to the little voice inside your head: it will tell you what's really going on.
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reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (30 November 2006):
 What is so wrong about going on a lads holiday when youre in a relationship??! There is nothing wrong with that and for you to strongly think otherwise is just insane. And mind you, lads holidays are not all about gettin laid and boozing 24/7!! Some guys do that, some dont, you cant judge them all just because some choose to do it. You need to have more faith in your boyfriend that he wont cheat on you. I mean do you think you're actually gonna spend 24 hours a day watching him so he doesnt go astray?? He has a life outside of the relationship (and so should you), and that doesnt mean he doesnt love you or is cheating on you, it just means he's normal. You said you dont trust any man in that situation?...well, i dont think the problem with you is trust, its your self insecurities!
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