A
female
age
41-50,
*ina25
writes:I need help the man I love so much is not about shit, I bought his something real nice for x-mas and I didn't get any thing,two days after he gave me a card with money in it,but he ask me to pay a bill and he would give it back to me when he made it home from work,so I did later that day he asked me to give him half on some thing he wanted so I told him to keep the money think he would say that he would not but he didn't,I love this man so much but i know that he is not the one for me about 15 min ago I was giong throuh his phone and seen some texts that he got and so I text this person back and told them that i need to talk to them thay text back and said call them so i did and it was a female and i ake her who she was and she was playing dumb like she didn't know what i was talking about,I woke him up and asked him what was going on and he didn' have any thing to say what should i do
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 January 2009):
 You say you love him, but you obviously don't trust him or you wouldn't go through his phone.
I also agree with britt, gift giving is not about the amount you spend but the thought behind it. He couldn't be bothered finding/looking for something he thought you might like, maybe because by giving you the money he could always ask for it back, knowing full well that you wold give it to him.
If you want to make a go at it with him, you two really need to talk.He might not be happy in the relationship either and is looking for something outside of it, if you don't talk nothing will improve.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2009): I agree with Littlemama, He is up to something and it sounds like he is seeing someone else! you need to get to the bottom of it! i'm very sorry, I know how hard this is for you.
As far as the gift giving thing...I have to disagree with pvtguy (Sorry Pvtguy) but no one that I know has ever been "trained" in gift giving! It comes from the heart and knowing your likes and dislikes, taste in things etc. My guy sent me beautiful jewelry (necklace, earings, and a ring) I sent him books and by Edgar Allen Poe, Henry David Therough, A book of love poems, and just some little Arizona souveniers (a key chain with a scorpion, southwestern coasters-cowboy design, and a canteen with the same design) I spent a total of under $100. I don't know how much he spent but he insured it for over $750. I felt my gift was inadequate compared to his...but he was just as happy with his gift as I was with mine! He loves the leather coasters! LOL...Oh by the way he also sent me 4 pairs of sexy painties from Victoria Secret!!!! No man has ever taken the time and the patients to do that!
My point is no matter what the gift it's the point of taking the time and the effort to come up with gifts that the other would cherish...such as the books by his favorite authors! He was so impressed that I remembered our conversations about them. Giving a gift of money is like saying "Here, I can't be bothered buying you something, so you do it! Now if it was a gift card from Victoria Secrets, or a local spa, that would be okay...but just cash sends a negative msg.
And to ask for the money back is soooo incredibly uncool! (couldn't think of a better word)
There are definite problems in your relationship. You said you didn't think this guy was for you, I don't either. Sounds like he has a lot of growing up to do!
You need to open up the lines of communication...but I'm not sure if it isn't to late for that! Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, littlemomma +, writes (4 January 2009):
 I'd say find out WHO that girl is! If he's not showing effection towards you...and you find txt's from another girl...you really need to figure out if this girl isnt just a "friend". I'm sorry but personally it sounds like he's seeing someone else...SOO hope I'm wrong!!! But find out who that girl is.Best wishes!
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