A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I'm new here and stumbled on this site while surfing the net for answers. I really hope you guys will give me good advice.I've stopped dating about 3 years ago (fyi and btw, I'm 30). Boyfriends are overrated... don't you think? Anyway, after 3 years of dildos and occasional meaningless sex, my human nature is yearning for emotional connection. The internet was sort of a good place to start looking and I quickly met someone online who lives in the same city I do. We hit off...his emails made me laugh and my communication skills impressed him. We exchanged pictures (head and shoulder shots + plus full lenghts). I liked his body and he was kinda cute. He described me as "beautiful" and "stunner".After a week of emailing back and forth he told me he'll be on the road busy with work and won't be able to email as often. In our second week we tried to label our relationship and both decided it's a friendship and if we start getting feelings for one another, we'll explore those feelings.In our last email, one Sunday ago, we talked about meeting for coffee... no date and time was set yet and he reminded me again that he's on travelling a lot for work.A week has passed since his last email. After 5 days of silence, I send him an email on the 6th day just to remind him I'm still here but no reply from his side. I'm trying to understand why he stopped emailing. Is he really THAT busy? I don't care whatever a person does with his or her 24 hrs, surely one can take 5 minutes at least every 2nd day to send a short email. Is he dead/in hospital/kidnapped? Is he not interested anymore? He should at least tell me if that's the case. What? Why? When? Who? How? Help... I'm driving myself crazy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMrvhappy, thanks again for your response. S/A is pretty up to date and maybe just as advanced as the States, UK and Australia with techno stuff and internet connections :-)
But I asked, you guys replied and my conclusion was I'll let it (potential relationship) go. I don't think he's in a relationship but I do think he lost interest. Therefore yes, I will go out and try the 'real world'.
However, I'm also gonna give it another week and see if he'll email me with a reason as to why he disappeared on me and make my final decision. If no answer in week then i'm over it.
A
male
reader, mrvhappy  +, writes (20 September 2010):
Hi,
OK 7 days is a long time not to have heard from him. Maybe he doesnt have internet access if he's abroad alot..esp in SA/Africa.(not sure how easy it is to get internet access in yr part of the world nowadays havent been there for a long time.)
Its easy to speculate...wife/ g/f / kids and I am not trying to defend him. Perhaps his job doesnt allow him access to his email a/c?. Maybe hes gone away on Hols and hasnt switched on his PC...I know that I try not to take my wk phone/laptop with me when go on Holiday.I wouldnt worry
too much after all he did tell you that he's travelling.
Try not ot get too involved after all its a internet relationship...you two may not have any chemistry when you do meet.
Perhaps you should concentrate yr energy in going out and meeting people..clubs/social gatherings/hobbies/sports etc rather than sitting around worrying for someone that you havent actually met (yet). The mind/imagination is not as good as reality
Good Luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShania, I hear you. Yep, his behaviour raise some questions.
Angelicus, I thank you for your answer. Guess I actually don't have a choice in the matter but to let go.
I see the general consesus is to accept that I should move on.
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A
female
reader, angelicus +, writes (20 September 2010):
Hi, you know probably the best thing to do is probably the hardest of all when you have developed a strong interest in someone - and that is to leave it alone and concentrate on other parts of your life and meeting other people. If he is still interested he will come back to you one way or another - you have tried your best and that is all you can do now so sit back and let fate take over. It really is so hard when you like someone to let go but that is what you have to do, find another outlet and well you never know!
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female
reader, shania +, writes (20 September 2010):
 Why is it such a big secret for him not to tell you on what he does for a living? Why all this cloak and dagger stuff? If you do need a male opinion on this then i think you should email the agony uncles to their profile, that way you will get a better response. My money is on him having a few women on the go or possibly a wife back home...because he is far too secretive.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question3 people's answers are not enough. I need more, please, especially from male readers.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionButterfly, thank you for your answer. I didn't get that sleezy/pervy vibe from him however I am starting to believe that sex might have been his end goal.
At mrvhappy, I do appreciate a male's perspective on this. Thank you for answering. Maybe you're right and internet access could be his problem...but 7 whole days?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your respons Shania. I don't think he's a trucker. He travels in and out of the country sometimes. He didn't want to tell me what he does and said he'll rather tell about it over coffee. We didn't get to exchanging numbers yet. He said he's not in a relationship as he got out of a long term one a while back.But I will take your advice...if he's interested, let him make the effort.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your response Shania. I don't think he's a trucker. He travels in and out of the country sometimes. He didn't want to tell me what he does and said he'll rather tell about it over coffee. We didn't get to exchanging numbers yet. He said he's not in a relationship as he got out of a long term one a while back.But I will take your advice...if he's interested, let him make the effort.
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female
reader, Butterfly1992  +, writes (19 September 2010):
Girl. hes just not worth it. I know you thought there was a strong connection there. but if he makes u suspicious when yall are "just friends" imagine if yall were dating that relationship would be hectic. he's definitly got something on the side like a marriage or something. did he ask for sex? if he asked for sex nd u told him u wanted an actual relationship he probably figured he could sweet talk you, be a friend, "get to know you better" and get you in the sack in a couple weeks. Thats how some guys operate. they make u feel all comfortable and then after they get what they want, or figure out that there not gonna get wat they want there gonna have to work for it they deicde to stop all contact. :/ hope this helps. im sorry hun that you had to go through this though. need anything just Email me.****************** MODS NOTE:Thankyou for answering question.. but personal contact information is not permitted.
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female
reader, shania +, writes (19 September 2010):
He is probably either married...has a girlfriend or a few women on the go or has simply lost interest.What exactly does he do for a living? Is he a long distant lorry driver? if so then he would be hard pushed in getting to the pc and to email you...saying that,why aren't you not texting each other by phone? Why wont he give you his phone number? Why is it such a big deal to meet up for a coffee?.If i was you i wouldn't contact him again..you've done enough running,let him come to you but i would still be wary because you can be anyone you want on the internet, he could of sent you fake pics that wasn't of him? Have you seen him on web cam? I bet you haven't. Something doesn't add up with him so i reakon he is messing you about because he isn't quite forth coming with meeting you.
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male
reader, mrvhappy +, writes (19 September 2010):
Hi,
Have you thought that he may not have internet access?
I travel loads & there are times when I cant access my hotmail a/c's as they are blicked @ clients sites.
Either that or perhaps he's not interested...but I think its the former
Good luck
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