A
female
age
26-29,
*ope123
writes:I've been speaking to this guy for a while on snapchat, he used to live nearby but has moved away (apparently only for a year but I am unsure). I never knew him when he lived here but we went to the same school. I just never seen him as he was a few years above. When at our school he dated one of the girls in my year. I was reasonably friendly with although I didn't know that till I started speaking to him. My real question here is , is he just a player ? He originally spoke to my friend , then me, he then moved onto another friend but came back to me in some ways. I also know that he speaks to his ex and many other girls. I know he's not living here at the moment so it shouldn't really matter but he's been very nice and flirty at first and everything just turned a bit sexual. I know he has had pictures etc of many girls and has been with many sexually but he treats me badly sometimes and I still continue to speak to him. He always says he'll get with me when he comes up to visit his family , am I wasting my time and is he just a player ?
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female
reader, Hope123 +, writes (5 January 2016):
Hope123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone , I no longer speak to him
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2016): But are you planning on being another of his conquests..you could be the one that got away ...and that person is remembered a lot longer than just another notch on the bed post.
You already know that he is a hurtful person so why would you want to give him the pleasure of your company.
Out there is a decent guy who isnt going to treat you like a piece of meat and with a decent guy you may even get a decent future and a caring and serious romance.
This guy thinks he is a bigshott who can do anything he wants..he may even be lousy in bed ..because he thinks he's it.
If he is no more hurtful thhan just a quick bunkup then he still isnt good enough for you;
He has made it obvious he is not a nice person,
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A
female
reader, Hope123 +, writes (1 January 2016):
Hope123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know he is real and the boy he claims he is and its on snapchat therefore I see his face. I have distanced myself a bit although he did tell me what he had in plan for me when he came down to visit but that must have changed as we argued the night later
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2015): I think you should be aware that this person is not genuine.He has just managed to work his way into a group of friends and associates and uses each contact with one girl to push himself forward with another.He is probably so cock sure that he "chats" with two or three girls at one time while pretending to be interested in each one only.He is using his age to his advantage and will ferret around for something to say that will either hurt you or please you according to his mood.He is not a good character.He knows young girls get all caught up and excited about boyfriends and he knows how to manipulate your lack of experience due to your age.He would make a lousy boyfriend and if I were you I would start to wonder if he really exists or if he has assumed someone else's identity just to work in a little further.Check him out with the police.A real person doesn't operate like this is as a general tonic for unattached females.He is putting himself in a position of power over you all and it would be best if you could drop him and block him because he is at best a complete creep.You will find a real boyfriend of your own age but until then keep yourself busy.Remember that you are a person who doesn't need a devious creep in your young life.Even if you spoke to him at school , he is still acting like a creep.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2015): I really appreciate both your answers and it is hurting. I wish I could just forget about him.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (28 December 2015):
 I worry for you. You know he's a player, you know he's treated you badly already and you have NOTHING invested in him but some time online and yet you are unwilling to just say NO to him and blow him off.
Tell you what...let's try this... continue to talk to him but the red hot second he says ANYTHING you would not want said to your grandmother or little sister end the conversation. Once you end it put him on 24 hours of ignore. IF you can manage it then the second time he mistreats you or disrespects you verbally do it for 48 hours.
keep a record of these endings.
Be aware that yes he is a player and this is all about what he can get from you.. he does not care about YOU as a person at all.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 December 2015):
 I guess if you won't block him, just talking less might do the trick. The thing is, at some point in your life you NEED to learn to say NO or NO thanks, to people treating you in a way that you KNOW is not good.
Just because he is older doesn't mean he is more mature, smarter than you, or more "right" in his actions. Probably why he is "preying" on younger girls, because many of you won't say: "oh go kick rocks, you twat, I deserve better!"
Don't be a push over or people will walk all over you.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Hope123 +, writes (28 December 2015):
Hope123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for your answer , my friends are telling me similar things but I can't get away from him and I think it totally is that he's older. For some reason I won't block him but do you think if we just talk less then we'll eventually ignore each other , it happened before and I missed him for some stupid reason. He doesn't always say the right things but when he does I fall for it
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 December 2015):
If he treats you badly, why do YOU stick it out with him?Because you think he is older so therefore "cool" ? Why allow someone to TREAT you in a way that YOU call badly?
And him suggesting he will GET with you when he comes to visit.. doesn't mean he is sincere or cares about you, it just means you are ONE option who is willing. Why do you think the conversations has turned sexual? Because he is hoping to get laid at some point.
He IS a player. He talked to a friend of yours first, then you, then another girl and now back to you. Maybe because they others didn't engage with the sexual talk, or they realized he isn't LOOKING for a GF, just someone to have sex with.
I'd cut him off, block him from your snapchat. He will be fine, he already have PLENTY of other girls lined up.
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