A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is in his late 30's he just started a teaching job. I support him 100% and even helped him find the job. I help grade papers and go shopping with him when he needs supplies. He is working with high-risk highschool students and since he started, our relationship has been suffering. I do not mind that most of our conversations are about school, or that he is on his computer setting up lesson plans most of the time. What bothers me is that he has less and less patience with me and has suddenly become concerned with how much time we spend together. He doesn't send loving texts anymore, or take my hand out in public. He no longer shows active interest in my life and friends. He is standoffish and not as affectionate anymore. He says he loves me, but that I am suffocating him. Yet, there is nothing different about our relationship and the time we spend together. We are no longer intimate, and if we are, it is because I innate it. I try to talk about it, but he says that "discussing the relationship kills the romance" yet there is no romance to begin with. What do I do? Is this usual for new teachers, or should I read the writing on the wall
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2009): Teaching really does consume all time and extra energy - like you, my husband helps me out and is understanding (printing things, punching holes), though I admit that I am barely a wife when school is in. Maybe its something they put in the water at school to keep the kids focused on home work? :)
Thanks for posting this (it was basically a description of me) so I can work on trying to be human in my relationship! I try to remind myself to "work to live" not "live to work" even if teaching seems so important. All jobs are important - but family is first!
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