A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My bf and I are a couple for over a year now and everything's just perfect so far. But I hate it when he's hanging out with girls friends or I simply get EXTREMELY jealous when he's paying attention to some hot sexy legs. That are not mine, of course. It's not that I'm ugly or fat or anything, but I just get jealous and no matter what you say, I cannot change it. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not turning into a clingy or obsessed girlfriend in my jealousy moments, but I suffer inside and I tend to be irritated and mad. On the other hand, whenever I go out with my male friends, he doesn't really care. I compliment them just to see his reactions, but he's all neutral. I know I should appreciate that he's giving me space, but I'd love if he was more jealous and showing that he really gives a damn about what I do and who I go out with. From the very beginning of our relationship, he's always been like this. Does he truly love me?
View related questions:
jealous Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for the answers. You've been helpful and I sincerely thank you.
@RJ101: that's my point exactly, I do look at other men and sometimes I sincerely admire them, but he doesn't seem to be bothered what so ever, thinking that one day I might fall for other man. And I also know that jealousy has nothing to do with love, but it's understandable that I'm talking about 'jealousy in a relationship'.
And I don't want him to express violence when jealous. I know we all have jealousy bursts, but some people don't show it, thinking that they might show weakness. After thinking about this some more, I'm convinced that my bf is one of them. He's the kind of person who encounters difficulty in showing ANY kind of emotion/feeling. But he's trying his best and I try not to criticize him too harsh when he screwes things up. He's also reluctant when it comes to 'communication', because he thinks it's complicated. But I still love him, he's a great person, aside these little issues.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 November 2010):
 Jealousy has absolutely NOTHING to do with love. It's an entirely unrelated emotion. It stems from low self-esteem and the need to control. You can feel jealousy with no love involved just as you can truly love someone and never experience the misery of jealousy.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010): While I do regret reader anon's situation that is absolutely horrifying and Im very sorry such men treat women like that.
Yes, be grateful he isnt jealous. Im like you and if a man so much as looks at my woman...well, i'll just say Im fairly vocal about it. Do NOT play any game wth him to test his love. I mean DO NOT do this as its childish and very immature. The fact he doesnt care shows he accepts you and trusts you...you should trust him too. He doesnt get jealous cause he knows at the end of the day, the sun rises and sets with you. Sure he may comment or flirt with his lady friends, but that doesnt mean he doesnt love you and think the world of you. Ive done that and Ive always been a one woman one guy type of dude. Im just friendly but not friendly ya know? Id say he knows his borders and unless you wish to revise them, def talk to him without playing any game. Direct communication is always needed to convey feelings. We dont pick up on hints lol. Good luck :)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010): I think you should be extremely greatful that he is not jealous. I have had many boyfriends physically hit me over jealousy. My ex phones up and my now boyfriend puts in his mind that I am having secret phone calls to him that he doesn't know about. Its very draining on me, however he is much better than others I have had. One was that bad he put holes in every wall of my place gave me a black eye and than called the cops on me, he even cut up all my phone lines, his name Casey Horton born 1 June 1972 who I absolutely HATE and pray the day I hear he has been disfigured by a terrible accident, just like the day he punched me in the nose and put left me disfigured. I say, be greatful, and why don't you tease him a little to see just how interested in you he really is.
...............................
|
