A
female
age
41-50,
*ixieGwen
writes:Ive known this guy for 4-5 yrs - Lets call him "Robert".We were friends and some point jumped into intimacy. He was a drinker who expressed his naughty feelings for me and would be touchy feely in public,get jealous when I was w/ other guys.We had too much sexual chemistry it was amazing.I got married to another and then that marriage died."Robert" started telling me that he loved me etc.I told him he only wanted me cos he couldnt have me.Marriage was over - so "robert" and I started back up. He'd constantly say I love you and would get sad if I didnt touch him/show my affection enough.We Mainly stayed in =Intimacy + cuddling + I love yous and a movie/music and convos.Everytime we got close hed disappear/ignore me - hes' done it cpl times but throughout the yrs we've gotten closer.At this time he disappeared again and came back - He stopped drinkin and we started back up - only this time we had sex *before it was only foreplay*.The sex was awkward and he was incredibly nervous, shy and weird about it.During - I thought I heard him say I love you but I ignored it cos I thought I was hearing things.Sex a cpl times and then disappearing/ignoring act.3-4 mos later - I saw him at the bar *hes a bartender* and he kept talking to me/staring at me *he wasnt the only bartender there*.He claims hes dating someone now *hes never been good at relationships*. I dunno if theyre still together..cos this was a bit ago but I want to start over w/ him - not ass backwards and try to date him/get to know him. I dont think its impossible..even if intimacy has already been thrown in..any opinions?
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foreplay, I love you, jealous, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (24 September 2009):
 He sounds really needy. And too needy to be a good prospective boyfriend/relationship/partner. I'd listen to your instincts and let him go. You obviously are confused because you have been 'friends', you are 'attracted' to him, but you are simply ignoring that good sense that God gave you and explained to us.
There is something wrong there! LISTEN TO IT!!! God gave you your intuition for a reason!!! XXX
A
male
reader, Logan58 +, writes (24 September 2009):
Hun, he seems like he is confused. He seems also like he doesn't know the meaning of "i love you". I'm in a new relationship with a girl I known for 2 years.. I told her I loved her the other day, and I MEANT IT.... those are strong words, and he shouldnt be saying that if he is confused... and you shouldnt be passing it off as normal words.. Its obvious he still likes you, its just maybe that he doesnt know what to do/is confused/scared/uncertain.
Talk with him about it! Try to understand what he feels, and make him understand what you feel!
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A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (24 September 2009):
Hi honey. This guy clearly has intimacy issues. I don't know many men who hang with a woman for 5 years, say I love you and don't mean it. So I think he def has feelings for you. But having feelings and being able to deal with his issues well enough to carry on a successful relationship are two different things. First I think you need to decide how you are feeling about him and if you can commit to dealing with his issues. If you are and you can, then you need to sit him down and have a real once and for all heart to heart.
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